Clandestine

Seventeen

MAYA

"Why did he just hang up like that?" Gyeongmin asked as we stared down at the phone in confusion.

"Knowing him he probably hit the button on accident," I sighed, tucking my face into my hands. She came to sit beside me on the floor, arm coming to rest on my shoulders as she held me. "I just don't get why everything has to be so hard."

We sat there for a good ten minutes in stark silence as she consoled me before my phone burst into song and we were scrambling to get to it.

"It's from Tae." The phone rang as we stared at it. Joon had hung up. Without saying a word. Then Tae called. Something was wrong.

"Answer it," Gyeongmin said pushing it towards me.

"I don't wanna answer it, you answer it!" I shoved it back her way, nerves crawling up my back.

"You're his wife, it's you're phone." I hated when she was right. I pressed answer immediately putting the phone on speaker so that she could hear what was going on too.

"Tae, what's going on. Wha-"

"He found out." I froze. My body shifted into crisis mode as I took the phone off speaker and pressed it to my ear.

"Who?" I shoved a finger into my other ear, trying to shut out Gyeongmin, who was rattling off questions a mile a minute.

"Jimin. H-he...he answered the phone. He heard you." I could picture Taehyung with the phone held in shaky hands as he spoke. His voice quaked as he went on.

"I tried to stop him. I-I tried to stall him so that Joon would have time to get here, but he...he just left. He-he went to go tell P.D. Bang. A-and Joon he's...I don't think he's gonna make it."

I remember the phone falling out of my hand and the wet sting of tears in my eyes. I don't remember hitting the ground though. Everything just went black.

———————————————

NAMJOON

"Take a seat." I was covered in sweat. I wasn't sure from what, the sprint up the stairs or the nerves that ensued once Tae had told me what happened.

Call Maya, was all I had time to say before I was bolting out of the apartment.

Now I was here, and I was too late.

"What is this that Jimin is telling me?" My voice caught in my throat.

"I-I was going to tell you. I-"

"But you didn't. And why is that?" His eyes bore into me and I felt so small under his gaze and his loud voice.

"I-I didn't-"

"I-I-I...Namjoon, it seems like all you've been thinking about is 'I'. I need an explanation from you. Now what is this? Who is she?"

Every night played in my head. Every phone call, every hotel room,every smile. The day we got married. The day she'd moved in with my parents. Our every moment and it had been just as I feared, for nothing.

"Namjoon!"

"She's my wife." I tried hard to ignore the stinging in my eyes.

"Your wife?" I nodded. "How long have you known this girl?" I was quiet. "Answer me."

"Two and a half years. We met in Vegas after the award show and I love her." My jaw locked as I braved a look at him. His eyes were trained on me behind his thick rimmed glasses.

An almost menacing chuckle left him and I felt like I was gonna be sick. "You love her? Is that what you said?" He stood from his desk and walked over to the window. "Ten years, me and you have worked together. Ten years and this is what you do!" He turned back to me, taking his glasses of as he neared the desk again. "All of this hard work, and you throw that all away over a girl? And did you even think to talk to me about it once?"

"I didn't know how to-" I interjected but he stared me down with ice eyes as he cut me down.

"No, you don't get to talk now. You get to listen." My hands gripped at the arms of the chair. I couldn't help but think about the time the boys had pranked me and I'd been in this same position. Only now it was real. The consequences, the outcome, the effect it would have on my life were all real. "You use that word like you have any idea what it means. I thought you were smarter than this-."

"I-", he shot me a glare and I stopped.

"Do you have any idea how this is gonna affect the others? Your brothers? How the media is gonna take this and run with it? Did you even think about how you being with anyone, let alone married could do to all that we have worked for?"

I did. All too well.

"You've betrayed not only my trust, but your members and your fans all for one measly girl?" He held up a finger to emphasize his words. My nails dug into the leather of the chair, no doubt leaving little crescents in the material because my words and rage were bubbling upon inside me.

She's my wife. The love of my life. And no matter what anyone has to say about it, she's the one I chose. The one I'd happily leave this all behind for at the drop of a dime, and yet I have to sit here and take his words like razors flying past my skin, cutting deep with a fine tip with every pass tricking true because I didn't say something the first chance I got.

Here I was claiming to be fighting for our marriage, when the solution had just been so simple. This whole problem could have been taken care of years ago, had I not been selfish and trying to keep her for myself. Hidden. My secret. And now we were both suffering the consequences.

"What do you have to say for yourself? Huh?" My eyes cut towards him as I stood up. Looking down at the shorter man. "What are y-"

"You're right. I was selfish. I didn't act with my head, I wasn't thinking about my members, you're right. I was thinking, for the first time in years, since I signed that paper way back in 2009, about myself. I was thinking about what made me happy, and it turns out that that's her." He scoffed. "I understand that you'll do whatever you see fit, but if you do decide to let me stay, I'm not giving her up." My heart pistoned as I stop, adrenaline urging me on. "Because I do love her. That's why I married her. And I have no intention of leaving her, even if that means my job and my fame and my fortune will be stripped away. Take it. She'll still love me without them. Despite what you think."

He stalked around the desk, hands shoved in his pockets, head down and lips pursed as my words hung in the air. "You know, a part of me thought that you'd give in- but I know you better than that. You're too stubborn for your own good at times."

"It's times like this when I need to be," I shot back. "And I meant every word." He came to stand before me, looking into my eyes. He was the same man I had once idolized because he was different than all the other CEOs. Bang actually cared. In his own way, of course, but he did. He gave us harsh truths and lessons to learn from. Only now it felt more like I was the one with the lesson to uphold. "So tell me, should I start packing, or can you accept her and our relationship for what it is?" The ends of his lips struggled to turn up against his hard features, before he turned away from me to walk back around his desk.

"Kim Namjun, I'd be a fool to fire you. You, said it yourself, Bangtan Sonyeondan wouldn't be the same without any one of you." I was relieved. Even if we'd be fine without all the luxury, it was still nice that I wouldn't be losing it. "You have a lot of explaining to do. And I expect every detail. Sit. Let's talk like men who know what love is."