Clandestine

Nineteen-2

TAEHYUNG

Everything was happening so fast, I could barely find the words to try and calm Namjoon down. Jimin and Kook had hit every button to set him off in record time. First Jimin, then lying, then Maya. He started spewing things that none of us had even thought to know.

"About that..." Joon trailed off, a hand coming to rub at the back of his neck. 

"What happened with you two that he's so obsessed with everything going on with you?" He let of a long sigh.  Clearly he wasn't expecting to, for one get caught talking to his wife, but whatever  this was felt like a well kept secret. He fell down into his desk chair , head thrown back to look at the ceiling.

"It's a long story, Tae." It'd been a while since he'd had this look on his face. A look of guilt but acceptance. It was weird.

"We have time." He chuckled under his breath.

"I thought you'd say so." He went quiet, running his hands through his shaggy honey blonde hair. "It was a long time ago. "

"What was ?" My brows knitted together  as I pulled up a chair to sit in front of him, my mind glossing over all the things that he could possibly say. He was quiet again.

"We used to be together...well not really. Together isn't really the right for it I guess." My whole being froze.

"What?"

"Yeah, I know. And it should have never  happened." His eyes searched the ceiling as if he was looking for something to encourage him to keep speaking. "I still don't  know why it did. I regretted it every second."

"And what exactly-. When was  this?" My body had turned against me, pushing with such urgency for an answer. Anxiety coarsed  through my veins, pumping liquid adrenaline into my chest and I wanted for a response, it always seemed to take too long, even though I was so clearly aware that only a couple of seconds had passed.

"Before we debuted. Not too long even after he signed. Right up until 2016."

"Jesus, Namjoon. Why didn't you guys say something?"  Ever moments I'd ever seen them interact back in our pre-debut. All the times something seemed to be just a little off between the two of them. How after a time, every interaction between them at fan events and  concerts and live streams seemed almost forced, and yet none of us had given it a second thought. We just thought they were close. And when they started growing apart, we just assumed it was just what happened to friends overtime. 

"You think I don't know that this is bad? No one knew. Not until now at least. Maya-" He paused, another sigh leaving him, but it seemed like instead of losing tension, weights of it were being piled on his back.  "My wife... she- she doesn't even know, Tae."

"How could you have kept that from her? That you were sleeping with you bandmate, who you, oh I don't know, have lived with since fucking 2012!"

"How do you tell that to your wife? As far as she knows, she'd the only person I've slept with since then."

"Well you have to tell her, Namjoon, you can't just keep lying about it-" I rambled off. I could only imagine how I'd feel the person I loved, was married to even, had 

"Tae, I know. I'll just...We'll cross that bridge when we get there, alright."  

"I-" It was my turn to sigh. As much as I wanted to advocate for this girl that I didn't know, it wasn't really any of my business.  "Okay.