Total Drama All Stars Re-write

TDAS Re-write episode 5: Singin' in the Pain

Total Drama All-Stars Re-Write
Episode 5: Singin' in the Pain
Written and Edited by Joey Turner and Tanya Furness

Chris: (Voiceover, recounting last episode's clips) Last time on Total Drama All-Stars; after swapping teams; Courtney, Noah and Duncan were stuck living with the enemy (Chuckles). But, while Courtney was given the cold shoulder by every villain except Scott, Duncan got a hero's welcome so warm, it made him question his own bad boy-hood. At challenge time, giant pancakes were gobbled down, and in a few cases, thrown right back up thanks to a barftacular obstacle course, (Laughs) way to re-swallow, bro. And snarky, sarcastic Noah got a little ...smoochy with the animal-whisperer. Turning from cool as a cucumber to as noodle-y as his arms. (Laughs) Way to man up there, string bean. In the end, Owen scored big for the heroes, once again sending the villains to loserville; and Anne Maria, who barfed it big time before even TOUCHING the pancakes, took a particularly gruesome Flush o' Shame. (Back to reality, Chris is standing on top of the toilet) Only 14 players remain, which one of them is gonna take a circle-y swim in the big porcelain bowl? Will the villains FINALLY score themselves a victory? Find out right here, right now, on Total Drama All-Stars!

(Opening Credits)

(Cut to the loser's cabin, girl side. Only Heather and Courtney are inside. Heather looks extremely annoyed, while Courtney looks happy for once)

Courtney: (sighs happily) You know what? I am actually happy that Pasty McJerkface isn't here for the night. I could use a night away from her.

Heather: (Annoyed) great, we're all so happy, happy, happy! Now go to bed!

Courtney: I don't see how those Heroes could possibly see any good in her evil, poorly moisturized pores! They SHOULD be kissing MY boots! I was the one who pulled their sorry butts all the way to victory!

(Heather groans in anger and slams the pillow over her head)

(Confessional: Heather)

Heather: (In fetal position) shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup-

(Confessional: Courtney)

Courtney: wow, I never thought I'd say it, but I'm actually GLAD it was just Heather and I. I can't believe she listened to my ranting all night. It is just so therapeutic to vent about Gwen's EVILNESS!!

(Confessional: Heather)

Heather: SHUT UP! (Groans) At least with GWEN it was quiet! COURTNEY went on a 36 page lecture on how Gwen's hair looks like moldy bread ...which doesn't sound so bad right now; maybe it'll kill me so I don't have to hear any more of Bored-ney!!!

(Confessional ends)

(Cut to the boy's side, Alejandro looks annoyed, while Scott looks relaxed)

Alejandro: ¡oh Dios mío! It still astounds me how long she can rant for. (Notices Scott looking content) How is this not annoying you?

Scott: hmm? Eh, at this point I'm immune. Back on the farm, we had to listen to Pappy whine for 8 hours while he was passing kidney stones. (Alejandro shivers in disgust)

(Confessional: Alejandro)

Alejandro: and once again I am stuck with the "gentleman" of the team; how do they keep finding me?

(Confessional ends)

Scott: besides, Courtney's actually kinda cute when she's mad.

Alejandro: (Intrigued) you don't say?

Scott: hecks yeah! Hey, you were with her in season 3, what does she like?

Alejandro: hmm, let's see: winning, uh kicking below the belt... (Smirks) especially Duncan, oh yes, and taking pride in being an unstoppable force to be reckoned with.