Staying Strong (One Direction, Niall Horan) *EDITING*

Chapter One

Niall's thoughts

"What's wrong Niall?" Is all I hear and in response they'll get: " Nothing, everything's fine. I'm fine." But in reality, nothing is fine. Most of One Direction's fans know me as 'the ugly one' or ' the unwanted one'. I can say I got used to it, but every time I read a comment like that my heart drops. But I pretend like everything's okay. It's quite easy to fake a smile if you've been doing it for a while now.

Niall's P.O.V

"Niall, we're going out to the pub wanna come?" Harry's voice broke my trace of thoughts. "Nah, have fun." I waved him off. "Alright, we'll be back before midnight." Harry ended our conversation. My phone's vibration caught my attention. As usual, I ignored it but it kept buzzing in my pocket. I sat up from my bed and took my phone out and on the screen, it read,  '100+ NEW NOTIFICATIONS Twitter.' I sighed knowing more hate was awaiting. I opened the app only to scroll through hundreds of messages that hadn't spoken one word of love.  'Ew! You're so ugly why are u even in the group!!!!' - "I know." 'You can't sing!' "Words hurt." - " You're so full of yourself.' "Not really. Since when?"-  ' you're worthless, and not talented!' "Gee, thanks."- 'You're teeth are ugly, and so are you.' "Haha, I know. Thanks for that. I sure needed that."

I couldn't read anymore over my blurry vision.  Not caring if my phone shattered, I threw it at the wall with all my strength. I let my warm fresh tears slide down my cold cheeks. I started to breathe heavily. Why me? What did I do to deserve this?  I asked myself. I got off of the bed and walked towards the restroom. I opened a drawer containing my anti-depression pills and took two then put them away. I opened another drawer and took out my shiny friend that I had in a bag full of other sharp objects that were sharp enough to draw blood. I used shaving razors and pencil sharpener blades to cut into myself as a form of punishment. I looked at it as fresh tears streamed down my face. I rapidly made three long deep cuts across my wrist. I slid down the wall and just cried my heart out. I promised myself I would never do it again, but what can I do? I deserve this. I've created a monster. 

Liam's P.O.V

Niall has rejected going to the bar more than once this year. Something must've been wrong. Really wrong. "Harry, have you noticed our little pint lover hasn't drank with us in a while..?" I asked taking a sip of water. " Yeah, it's kind of worrying me. I feel like the hate is getting to him." He took a shot and asked for another. "Maybe, but you know Niall. He wouldn't let hate get to him. He's a carefree-" "Yeah yeah, carefree mofo. I know, but I'm worried." Harry interrupted me. I sighed. "Where's Zayn and Louis?" I asked changing the subject. "Eh, I don't know, probably taking a walk." He took another shot. "Harry, I think that's enough for you," I said covering his mouth, preventing the drink to go down his throat. He waved my hand away. " I'll walk home okay? I'll find Louis and Zayn, just go check on Niall." I nodded my head. I ran to Harry's car and drove off. I opened the door and ran upstairs to his room and jiggled at the door knob. His door was locked so I kept knocking but my efforts resulted in nothing. I started to think about what could have happened. Goosebumps began to travel along my skin, making me knock with more strength, nearly pounding on the door. I could feel the sweat start to form on my palms. I let out a low shaky sigh.

Niall's P.O.V

I heard knocking. It got louder and louder. A small puddle of blood covered the floor to the left of me. "Shit." I got up and wrapped a small piece of toilet paper around my wrist. "Hold on a second!" I called out to whoever was knocking. "Alright. Take your time."  "Liam," I whispered to myself. I wiped the blood off the floor and rinsed out my cuts. I poured some alcohol on it and patted it dry. I tensed up, it burned like hell but it kept the pain traveling along my body. I washed my face and dried it roughly. I slid on my long-sleeved shirt and swung the door open. Liam walked in looking around. "Why is so dark in here?" He questioned. "The lights are off... How come you're here and not with the rest of One Direction?" Did I just say the rest of one direction?  "What do you mean ' the rest of One Direction?' I should be asking YOU that." He poked my chest. "Nothing, I'm just so used to saying One Direction since I'm always reading it on Twitter and such... Sorry I meant to say the boys." I stuttered. Liam turned the lights on and locked the door. "What are you doing Li?" I asked as my anxiety began to rise. "You look horrible! What happened? It looks like you've been crying the whole night and your hair is a mess... Have you even slept?" Liam kept spitting questions at me. "Um, I was watching the Titanic." I lied. We both turned to the television that's power was off. "Niall, are you okay?" Liam asked grabbing my hand and sitting me down on the bed. I looked down at my sweatpants and thought. Should I tell Liam? He's my best mate... "Everything's fine. I'm okay..." I said lying to his face. He obviously didn't believe me. He got up from my bed and walked towards my phone. The screen was cracked terribly. He turned it on and noticed the list of hate. "Oh, Niall... Is this bothering you?" My eyes got watery but I smiled to keep the tears from falling. "Of course not, I don't care. I'm a carefree mofo. You know that Li."