Staying Strong (One Direction, Niall Horan) *EDITING*

Chapter Five

Niall's P.O.V

My body was completely numb. I felt like I was at the North Pole only wearing a pair of boxers. I was dead on freezing my arse off.  I opened my eyes to a worried Liam. I looked over at him and questioned "What's with the sad face? And why is it so fucking cold?" Liam stayed silent. I looked down at him holding my hand. My cuts and old scars were revealed. I suddenly didn't care. I looked around. "Where are the boys?" I asked. He took a deep breath. I squinted and stared into his eyes. His eyes didn't seem to have a sparkle, they went from a sweet chocolate brown to a demonic black that sent shivers down my spine as I gasped. He held a tight grip on my injured wrist. I yelped in pain. "LIAM! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" His face turned into a black horrifying-looking creature that you would imagine would live in the pits of hell and everything went dark after that. 

"NO!" I opened my eyes. You have no idea how happy I was it was just a nightmare. I was sweating buckets and had some machines connected to me. I looked down at my arm. Fresh. I looked around the room, Liam was sleeping next to me. I smiled and flicked his forehead. "Wake up you dork," I whispered. He looked up at me. "Oh my gosh, Niall!" He hugged me slightly trying not to hurt me. "How are you feeling mate?" He constantly licked his lips in an anxious way. "I'm fi- okay." I smiled. He cared. I brushed my hair back with my hand and sighed. "Why am I here?" This time it was my turn to get some answers. "Erm, well I followed you out of my room, and you called for help before you fainted. And your wrist was bleeding, and yo-you were all pale and - " He got cut off by his crying. I rubbed his back gently. "Shh... it's okay, Liam. I'm okay." I whispered. "Don't you get it, Niall? If you keep saying you're okay you're going to get worse! God forbid but you might end up killing yourself from all this blood loss!" Liam was in tears as he yelled at me. A couple of nurses came to escort him out. "Excuse me, sir, please don't yell at the patient, you need to calm down." He gave me a worried face and cried again. He walked out with the nurses. Warm tears fell against my cold cheek. I felt so bad, not for myself or the pain I'm feeling, but for Liam, and for worrying everyone. Why can't they understand I don't need help and I'm A-Okay. I shut my eyes and relaxed my neck. I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I replied. Harry came in and sat on the side of the bed. "Hey, buddy, how are you feeling?" He sounded just like Liam. I sighed rolling my eyes and answered "I'm feeling better." Harry had tear stains on his face. I looked him in the eyes and did the most irrational move ever done in this universe. I grabbed his cheeks and pulled him closer. "Niall?" His lips were nearly touching mine now. I closed the space between us and kissed him. Yes, kissed him. I don't know what was going on though, I'm straight. Last night when he tackled me, it made me feel some type of way. I wanted to confirm it was just a momentary feeling. I always thought Harry was adorable, but never thought I'd take it this far. I finally realized I was still kissing him and broke apart. Harry looked so shocked it kind of hurt me. "Sorry... So sorry, Harry. I just, I don't know anymore. I'm sorry it was stupid." I sighed looking down at my cuts. "No it's okay, you're just tired..." Harry had a small smile on his face. He started to circle around the fresh cuts. "Why though..?" He asked. I looked up at him and answered with "I told you, I wasn't thinking and I don't know you were there and  I felt like kissing someone and- " "No, no, why'd you cut?" He cut me off. I sighed. "Well, I've always felt out of place in the band, people send me a lot of hate... I honestly don't like how I'm living my life... since I get so much hate I started to hate myself and agree with them." I whispered trying not to cry. His eyes sparkled and rested his finger on my arm. "Everything you read is bull." He clenched his fist. 

I stayed silent as he walked out of the door. Well, it's official, Liam and Harry are upset with me. One of the reasons why I didn't tell them or anyone. Louis and Zayn came in. "Hey! Are you feeling better?"  Louis made the room brighten up with his smile. I can tell it was forced but it made me a bit happy. "Yeah, way better." I smiled looking at Zayn. "How's it feel having my blood in you?" Zayn grinned at me like a kid trying to hide a surprise. "Your blood, it's in me?" I questioned him looking at my arm. "Indeed," Louis answered for him. "But why?" I asked blankly. "Cause! He was the only one with the blood type that can save you. You lost a lot, and I mean ALOT of blood last night." Louis still had a plastered smile on his face. My eye twitched.  No! Why!? I wanna die, why can't they understand? I don't want to live anymore, I'm just taking up space. "Oh.. thanks, Zayn." I winked at him. "Well, we better get going the doctor said we can just say hi." Zayn hugged me lightly. "See you soon, mate." Louis's voice had a bit of a 'sad pitch.' His eyes were watering mocking Zayns. They left hand in hand. 

Alone, at last. I sighed as the door shut. I looked around the room. I pouted my lips and thought 'gee, this sucks. I have no food.' Food was one of the things that can help me feel better. I gently pressed the 'nurse' button. Not so later, a nurse with short brown curls came in. "Hello. How are you feeling?" I licked my teeth trying to not burst and say ' Oh, you know I'm fine, I hate my life and I want to die. So yeah, like I said before I'm feeling awesome.' "Oh erm, I'm feeling better now. When do I get out?" I asked. "Well, Mr. Horan, you will be able to leave the hospital tomorrow afternoon. Do you need anything?" "Erm, some food would be great, and a question." I played with my fingers. "Yes?" She asked smiling. "What time is it?" "Oh, it's 8 p.m. I'll be going now, be back with your food." Wow, I slept a lot. But, I'm not even tired. Ugh, sucks when my sleeping time gets screwed up. 

I shut my eyes and waited for her patiently. I licked my dry lips and took a deep breath.

My life is so screwed up.

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update: Yeah I just fixed and re-read this. I don't know the blood types of the boys so don't be all like 'ZAYN AND NIALL DONT HAVE THE SAME BLOOD TYPE DIRECTIONATOR' lol. I'm not a fan anymore so...