Staying Strong (One Direction, Niall Horan) *EDITING*

Chapter Ten

Niall's P.O.V

As Liam walked away, I dropped my smile slowly. "Hey! You were amazing Niall!" Kat exclaimed hugging me from behind. "Oh, thanks," I smirked and then sighed lowly. "Everyone please go back to your rooms. The bell for lunch will ring shortly." Dana smiled as she spoke into the microphone. These people smile way too much. Kat and I walked back to our shared room. I plopped down onto my bed and let out a loud groan. "I'm tired." I sighed. "So am I." She said joining me. She threw herself onto her bed. "How long have you been here?" I asked her remembering her story. "Two years. How long do you plan on staying..?" My eyebrows raised hearing how long she's been here, must suck. "Oh, like Liam said earlier.. one night." She stood up from her bed and her eyes narrowed. "How do you plan on recovering if you are only here for one night?" She wasn't smiling like she always did. "I don't need the help." I spat still laying down.

"Are you mentally ill? Have you not noticed how depressed you are..you nearly killed yourself last night! You could've died!" Kat yelled at me. "How dare you! I didn't try to kill myself! You don't know me!" I kept the tears from rolling down. She tilted her head in an irritating way. "Look, Niall. Just from hearing your story, I know you want to break down and cry every time you read something directed toward you. You want to end life because of all of the hate. I know you try to stay strong, telling yourself not to cry. I know how it feels. You need to get better..soon before things go bad... And you might've not tried to commit suicide last night, but you nearly did." She whispered looking me dead in the eye. I sighed and looked at the ceiling. "It's just not easy.." "Nobody said it was easy.." She said with a small chuckle. The bell rang signaling for lunch. Kat sighed and looked at the wall. I was heading out the door waiting for Kat to follow. "Come on..." "You go on, I'm not hungry, just tired." I sighed and went back into the room. "Kat. What they said to you.. is complete bull. You're beautiful how you are. You don't need to change." I started as she turned around. Her eyes were full of tears, and she dug her head into the creek of my neck. She hugged me tightly. As she sobbed into me I hugged back drawing circles on her back. "It's okay babe," I whispered into her ear. "Their words haunt me..." "Shhh.. just remember those are words...Words can't bring you down." I was trying to keep myself from crying, but I failed, letting tears fall from my eyes. She looked up at me,  nose and eyes red. She smiled and cupped my face in her small hands. "You need to listen to yourself. Listen." She whispered.

~*~

Liam's P.O.V

I strolled back to my.. or Harry's car you can say. You see, I don't usually drive. I know how to drive but I don't have a license. Sometimes I borrow Harry's car though, yeah that's pretty much it. I hopped into the driver's seat and started the car. I got a text from Harry. 'hey where are you?xo -Hazza '. I read it more than once, but I didn't bother answering. 'hello?Liam, you there?? xo-Hazza 

After a minute or so of my phone buzzing notifying me that Harry's texting me I gave in and called him. "Hey! Why haven't you texted back, I was getting worried." Harry's voice filled the car. "Sorry, didn't feel like getting into a car crash today ya know. Maybe tomorrow though." I huffed. "Oh! So you're the one who took my car.. thanks for telling me earlier! So where you at?" Harry asked. I rolled my eyes as if he could see me. "I just dropped Niall off at a nearby rehab. So I'm basically free the whole day. Wanna hang out later?" I asked knowing I had nothing better to do. "For sure!" Harry answered me quickly. "Alright. See you soon. Bye!" I hung up before he could answer. It made me wonder.. why would he answer me that fast? with that happy tone? Did he not like Niall..?

After a few minutes of thinking and the honking telling me it was a green light, I drove to the huge building holding my two-floor flat.  I jogged up the stairs of the building and opened the door slowly. "Harry? You're home?" I stepped in shutting the door close. "Yeah! I'm in Niall's room!" Harry shouted from upstairs. I slowly went up the stairs dragging my feet. "Why?" I asked finally arriving where Harry stood. "I found a box under his bed. And before you ask why again, I'll tell you. Well when I got back from my jog, I got bored and explored." He simply answered showing me a small brown box. "Okay.. what's in the box?" I asked in a tone you would use with young children. "I don't know... yet. Let's open this baby up," he said opening the lid to the box. Inside the box was a small journal, with some bubble wrap around it. I grabbed the journal from him and opened it slowly. 'Day  One was printed on the top of the first page. I started to read out loud the first page.

"Today was the first day I ever harmed myself. I finally gave up on myself. I couldn't take the pain that was building up in me. I guess I gave up on life. I let the hate get to me. You know when people tell you not to worry, words are words..? That words can't hurt you? Well.. they do. They hurt like a burn. Got tons of hate.. for what? Being myself... What did I do..? Nothing. Right now it's bout 9:00 PM. I'm alone right now..  the boys went out to the club. I plan on never harming myself again... but I can't make a promise that I can't keep. I might tell Liam about this later. He's always there for me... I think I like him. I don't know though... I also have feelings developing for Harry... I'm just so confused right now... about everything... I feel so alone."I choked out.

I had tears in my eyes threatening to fall out. Harry hugged me right after I finished. "It's okay.. shhh." I sobbed hugging him back. We were sitting on the floor looking down. He hugged me tightly cooing nice thoughts into my ear. "NO! It's not okay Harry! Look at this fucking book! It's full of entries! This is his story...Two years worth.." I yelled throwing the book towards him sobbing into my hands.  Harry's eyes were full of tears, "It's not your fault though." Harry's voice cracked at the end. "Yes, it is Harry! I could've stopped him! That night we went out. He asked to speak with me but I told him not right now... I remember all of it!"   Harry sobbed along with me. I felt bad for yelling at him, but he needs to know this isn't a joke or story. "I'm sorry Harry I didn't mean to yell.." I went up to hug him. "No..don't touch me, please... I can't handle this right now." He walked slowly out of Niall's room. I threw myself to the ground. "This is all my fault," I whispered, rocking back and forth crying. 

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Author's Note~

Hola mi bbys. I haven't updated in a while. (: Sorry. I had writer's block. My friend wanted me to update so guess what? I am. Guys last week my friends did the sweetest thing. Okay so we were all just sitting there and all of a sudden my friend  Valeria and my other friend hugged me all of a sudden and said 'congrats! You haven't cut!' and I was like o__o wtf? but they're my babies and I love them so much. they help me bunches; you know being happy and such. anyway, I won't update this week cause I have a science fair project due next week. fml. Omg. so yeah, I PROMISE I WILL UPDATE A LOT DURING the WINTER BREAK which is in two months LLN. anyway, hope you enjoyed reading love you bbys.

Byesss-

Nicole