Staying Strong (One Direction, Niall Horan) *EDITING*

Chapter Six

Niall's P.O.V

"Mr.Horan, I'm back with your food." The nurse came back holding a tray. I opened my eyes slowly. "Thank you," I answered taking a look at the plate. Chicken salad, chocolate milk, a water bottle, and two pills on the side. "What are these pills for?" I asked plopping them into my mouth and taking a sip of water. "They're anti-depression pills. The doctor requested it. Anything else you'd like?" She asked with a smile. "Yeah, I'd like to speak with the doctor," I said in between chews. She nodded and headed out the door. 

"Good afternoon Mr.Horan, how'd  you awake?" The doctor came in closing the door behind him. "I'm fine," I answered not sure how to answer that question anymore. He quickly wrote down what I said. My eye twitched as I took another bite of the salad. "I'm going to be asking you some questions, so please be aware I'll be taking notes on your actions, reactions, and responses." I sighed and nodded. I put the half-finished salad to the side. "Ask away." I licked my lips looking him straight in the eye. He cleared his throat and nodded. "What do you remember from last night?" "Well, all I remember is taking two anti-depression pills you assigned to me earlier this year. And.." I looked down at my arm. He nodded and scribbled something down. I was still connected to stupid machines so I couldn't sit upright. I sat there all floppy and tired looking, which I was tired but not as tired to pass out. "Why did or do you self-harm?" He asked ready to write down a response. My eyes got watery and I looked down. "Well, I've gotten hate a lot, but it didn't get to me till the end of last year. And.. the things they said to me were terrible, and it made me hate myself. I want people to like me, I feel like I'm not even part of the band...I've been feeling like this for two years actually. Though I never started to harm myself till then. I feel hated and unloved... I hate my life honestly." I said speaking truthfully, it was different speaking it out loud than thinking it. He wrote it down once again.

"When did you start?" He asked looking at my motions. "January.. 14th,2011...I think."  I tried not to make eye contact with him, but he just kept staring at me. I gave in and swallowed. He wrote down my actions. "Does or did anyone know you were harming yourself?" He asked taping his pen. "Erm well, I suppose everyone in my family and band now knows, but before nope, no one knew," I said bending my knees and allowing them to touch my chest. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" 

"I was afraid," I answered blankly. "Afraid of what?" He asked now interested. "Afraid of being judged. Hated. Of people leaving me because of it." I answered finally releasing my tears. He nodded and said "One more question." I nodded clearing my throat. "Did you feel anything when you woke up? Scared?Alone?Happy?Sad?" He asked. "I was scared," I whispered. "Of what?" "Of Liam. I had a nightmare that Liam was this demonic monster. He was hurting me...The thing was killing me actually. But it felt so real.." He nodded and took a note. "I'll speak with him tomorrow or on the phone later today. I think you need some sleep." He gave me a small smile as he walked towards the door. "Wait, can I ask you a question?" I asked biting my lower lip.  "Yeah, of course." "Will I ever be happy again?" He frowned slightly and answered "Hopefully. Goodnight." He walked out the door with the clipboard. I sighed looking at the salad, then at the clock. 10:30 P.M. Okay, it's late and I'm tired. I shut my eyes and thought of happy things.

I drifted off to a nice calm sleep.

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Okay so I've never been in a hospital.. well I have but never stayed overnight.so I don't know what kind of questions they ask you, sorry if  I got that wrong.