disappointed (s.c.l)

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you sat on your bed wrapped up in your blankets whiles tears softly fell down your cheeks. sniffling, you grab your phone and scroll through your instagram feed. everyone was at maddie's party. all her friends, well at least she thought they were. even he went. but of course you weren't invited.

"this is f*cking depressing." you mutter to yourself before shutting off the phone and grabbing your soft silk, rose gold robe. covering up the cropped shirt and gym shorts you were wearing.

your parents were out for yet another business trip. this time for three months. leaving you, with an empty, cold house and a broken heart. making your way downstairs into the kitchen, you pull out a pot pouring a pack of noodles into it. adding some water, you place the pot on the stove before grabbing the cutting board and vegetables.

as you cut the solids into individual pieces, you hear a rapid knocking coming from the living room. quickly pouring the vegetables into the cooked noodles, you made your way towards the door. opening the door your heart stops as you come face to face with the boy that you dreaded.

"sean i don't think right now is a good time." you state quickly before closing the door, but the dancer boy stops it with his foot. sighing, you open the door fully.

this time when you look at him, his facial expressions have softened, and he looked as if he was about to cry.

"please. let me come in." he whimpers softly, and with that you grab his hand and take him to the dining table.

he takes off his shoes and jacket setting them on the chair next to him before turning his head towards you and watches as you put the veggie noodles onto two plates. setting the plates in the table you also grab two forks as well as two small cans of sprite, setting them on the table: infront of him and in front of you.

for the most part they sat in complete silence, none of them uttering a single word. and it's not because it was awkward. it was simply because they didn't know what to say. all the words they had were exchanged through their body language, and even that wasn't a lot.

"i'm sorry. and i'll apologize a million more times but please, please talk to me. you're literally all i have right now." sean cries breaking the silence, looking up you see the tears that were streaming down his face. but you stood your ground and kept silence.

"i saw that he left you behind. he went to the party even though you weren't invited. i bet he lied and said he wouldn't, but went anyway knowing how gullible you would be when it came to believing his lies. and he cheated, and you saw the videos. and now you're beating yourself up about it because you let another boy make you wear your heart on your sleeve only for him to tear into pieces." sean spat angrily as he thought about what the boy did to you.

you bit your lip, throwing your head back you try and hold on to all the tears that want to escape at that very moment. with your blurry vision you make eye contact with the boy letting out a small gasp before running upstairs to the bathroom and peuking.

your hair was held up for you as you continued, letting every content of your stomach leave you. flushing the toilet you sit back wiping your mouth and leaning against the wall. sean squats infront of you gently stroking your cheek.

"what's wrong with me sean?" you ask causing him to sigh at your vulnerable state. he gently pulls you up before gesturing for you to brush your teeth.

"you always end up fall for the wrong guys." and with that he left you alone, with your wandering thoughts.

after brushing your teeth, you quietly enter your room, finding sean sitting on your bed whiles fiddling with his fingers. sitting next to him you sigh before turning your body.

"sean? what happened to us?" you ask softly, when you didn't get a direct answer you huff before getting up and walking towards the door.

"you let a boy come in between our friendship." he says with a bigger chuckle causing you to quickly turn around and stomp towards them.

"you and me both know that's no true. is that what you've been telling yourself?" you question causing sean to stand up and face you with a clenched jaw.

"this is exactly what happened. nothing was ever your fault. i told you that he was bad news and not good for you. but you're too damn gullible and fell for his lies. anytime i talked to you you would just shun me away and pretend as if i don't exist. so our whole friendship was ruined by your stupid decisions." sean's face was red from anger. you gulp trying to hold in your tears but failing.

"i didn't want you to be disappointed in me." you whisper softly causing him to look up in confusion.

"what are you-"

"when i told you that he was my boyfriend i saw your whole smile falter. and after that i knew that i made the wrong choice. i pushed you away because i already have enough people disappointed in me, especially my parents. i didn't want to lose you because i made a dumb choice that you weren't happy with, so i became distant and used my relationship as a cover." you manage to say through your cries and whimpers. sean watches as you wipe away your tears and cover your face with your hair.

he walks closer to you and moves your hair from in front of your face. he puts his hand on the small of your back and pushes you closer to him.

"i could never be disappointed in you. don't you ever think that i'm disappointed in you." he whispers, stroking your cheek. you nod slowly before looking the other way.

sean gently grabs your chin, turning your head to face him. his eyes flicker to your lips before placing his own on them. it was soft and full of passion. it held truth and confessions. the two of you pull apart, leaving a small smile on your lips.

"i'm never disappointed by you."

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