The Smoke From His Lips

1

Why was smoking seen so... romantic? So romanticized by the media? Connor asked himself plenty of times, because his addiction started from seeing eighth graders smoke outside of the school, offering him one while he was only twelve at most. He wanted to be seen as cool, as grown up, as badass. In the back of his mind, he was convinced this would change his life. The smoke would ease off the bad thoughts and help him relax while smoking the cigarette would make him appear as such a popular figure, that people would look at him for once and see something besides a pathetic little kid, or just another weak, broken and tiny kid with too much pressure cracking down on him. He learned by early high school to hate the smoke from each cigarette he picks up and lights.

He sighed softly as he flicked his lighter to the flame. He couldn't stand the fact he was addicted. It felt shameful. He felt defeated by it, and his parents never got him nicotine patches like they said they would get him by eighth grade. It felt too late to quit by junior year. It felt too late to recover from this... or anything. Too late, too much work, too hopeless to continue to try. So he really didn't try much.

"There's kids in this park."

Connor oddly recognized the nasally voice and the cocky little snap to it. He rolled his eyes already.

"So?" Connor scoffed and glanced up to Jared, who was standing hunched down to Connor perched on the curb.

"You shouldn't be smoking those cancer sticks," Jared stated bluntly, as if it was more than obvious. In a way it was, but Connor didn't exactly care.

"Wow, thanks John Green. I loooove being scolded for smoking these
' ' cancer sticks ' '
I can't wait for you to open your mouth again," Connor groaned and rolled his eyes, purely sarcastic. Who the fuck says cancer sticks? "What's next on your agenda? Romantic breaking and entering because of a shitty ex boyfriend? Or how about having a fetish for Katherines?"

"Shove it up your ass, Murphy, just be conscious of the kids."

Connor didn't even look up. He just took a drag and stared at he park in front of him. "I'm not as into that as you are, sorry," he sighed with a harsh and sarcastic tone.

There was a moment of stiff silence. Neither talked. The most noise was Jared picking at his hand or his shirt buttons, or maybe even Connor's foot tapping against the wet oak leaves.

"Can I bum one from you?" Jared asked quietly and ended up slowly shifting to sit next to Connor, a good foot away from him to give personal space to both of them. Connor wordlessly held the box and handed over a lighter, letting Jared take a cigarette and light it.

Truth is, Jared never smoked before. Why did he ask for one? It was be only thing he thought to do to break the tense silence. Maybe, he thought, Connor would pay attention to him if he smoked as well. Maybe he would be seen as cooler.

He realized his mistake at his first drag. He inhaled quick and exhaled in a coughing fit, smoke choking his airways.

"Don't ask for one if you don't smoke."

"I couldn't think of what to say."

"Dumbass. Don't smoke nothin else, okay?" Connor snapped louder than intended. He did have emotion behind addictions. He didn't want people to suffer through being wrapped around cigarette companies' fingers.

Jared looked over with a glare, but eyes slightly softer than expected. Not that Connor was looking, he was staring straight ahead and taking a long drag. He slowly let the smoke wisp from his lips and into the air before puffing it out and turning to glance at Jared.

Jared looked down and looked specifically at the cigarette in his fingertips.

"Smoking doesn't solve shit, it doesn't make you cool, it's not a conversation starter. You'll become addicted and lose all your fuckn gapped teeth and you'll get like... cancer or some shit later in life. You'll get fucked up," Connor groaned as he thought out loud, letting his gaze drift. "You'll be a freak-ass loser and your only sanctity will be cigarette smoke choking you out."

Jared slowly nodded and pinched out the cigarette, wincing when it burned his fingertips. It felt nice, the small burning sensation and the faint sizzle he heard from it. He pressed his raw fingertips together and bit his lip to muffle any noises that could slide out.

"You're more of a dumbass than I thought."

"That's what most say about me," Jared mumbled with a shrug and a small, faint smirk.

Next time he looked over, Connor was getting up and brushing his clothes off. Connor caught his glance and looked down at him, slid his lighter in his pocket and shoved the cigarette pack in his back pocket. He tapped the back of his phone. "Gotta get to my house before Cynthia flips," he explained, maybe even a bit sheepishly. He flicked a wave to Jared, and Jared returned it before he just watched Connor turn and leave.

"You've got a leaf stuck to your ass!" Jared snickered and called to Connor, hands cupped like a megaphone. The reply he got was Connors hand swiping over his ass and then the middle finger. "You too!"
~

Kleinphy has my heart at the moment I love these two

Get prepared for a lot of perspective changes and like insignificant feeling chapters when it's starting up good, it ties all in together I p r o m i s e

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Comment please, shitty commentary is more than welcome and pls, contructive critism makes me nut