The Smoke From His Lips

10

"Wait! Connor?"

Connor snapped his head around to see Jared, hair falling in his face. What the hell did he want? He glanced over Jared expression. Deer caught in fucking headlights. Jared started to even choke on words caught in his throat.

"Just come with me, okay asshole?" Connor snapped slightly with a groan. "I just need a smoke. If it's gonna take you this long to spit out a sentence or two, come on." He turned back around and walked again, watching, from the corner of his eye, Jared follow closely.

Connor stepped outside the school doors and yanked Jared with before letting them close with a clatter and a clack. He slid a cigarette from his pack and lit it quickly. He took the first drag with his eyes shut, just focusing on the sensation in his throat and chest. Yes, smoking was terrible. It caused lung cancers, addiction, teeth decay, so many health problems, it ruined people's lives. There he was enjoying it, even through his hatred.

"You don't like sm——"

"I'm a whore, Jared," Connor scoffed with the faintest trace of a smile. Hell, he even managed to get a slight smile from Jared. "I know I don't like smoking but it feels good in the moment, it's relaxing." He took another long drag and let out a soft sigh.

Jared nodded and sat with him in silence. "So, all that jumpy emotions and snapping goes away with one cigarette?"

"It helps to get out of the school building too. I'm not completely down." Connor shrugged and took in smoke whenever he could. It was bitter and felt stale but he couldn't help but enjoy it. It lingered around before and after the gently blew the smoke out and ito the wind. "I will definitely punch your fucking throat if given the chance."

Connor brushed his hair back and stared straight ahead. His mind was swimming miles and minute. Random thoughts kinda surfaced now that impulse didn't make his eyes go white. "Do you really not know?"

"Not know what?" Jared asked with a small jump. "I don't know a lot of things, I need specifics."

"You said before that you don't know what I mean," Connor mumbled a little quicker and glanced to Jared. "So you should know what I mean right now."

Jared blinked like it could clear his mind. It couldn't. He looked like an idiot. He felt like an idiot too. That's a give though, he usually felt like an idiot and oddly enough, felt even more like an idiot in front of Connor. He was always making a fool out of himself with him. "Make myself seem?" He hesitated, unsure if that's the part of the conversation Connor referenced. "I don't make myself seem like anything, I make myself seem like me."

Connor scoffed and twirled his cigarette before taking another drag. "Bullshit." He didn't mean it harshly, but the word subconsciously spat out of his mouth, which caused Jared to very slightly flinch.

"What? Murphy, Jesus Christ you need to elaborate more than swears," Jared sighed and rubbed his forehead anxiously. "I don't know shit about what you're saying."

"You make yourself seem different than who you are," Connor mumbled a small explanation and picked at his chipping nail polish. "You make yourself seem like this, this... I don't know what to even call it but it can't be all you have to you. You're hiding something, Kleinman. You're hiding a person. School you and next to me smoking you are two separate fucking people. How do you not realize that? Has it become subconscious to switch like fucking Danny Phantom?"

"Murphy, please slow it down a bit." Jared rubbed the back of his neck out of stress and concentration. He was trying to wrap his head around what Connor was saying. "Take your time to get the words in your brain out your mouth."

Connor rolled his eyes but kind of paused. Jared was talking so calmly and smoothly. It was like the first time, when Jared went up to him in the park. "Words fucking suck," Connor mumbled under his breath and started to scratch the back of his hand.

Jared nodded slightly. "I feel that," he sighed slowly, looking at his hands. He picked at his nails and started to bite at them, scraping off layers by mistake and ripping his cuticle that just got done bleeding.

"Try not to bite," Connor mumbled in a huff, still looking and sounding pissed off, but he was trying to show he cared. "It destroys your teeth and your nails."

Jared shrugged and looked at his now wet fingertips. He pulled up skin with his teeth and finished the job with his fingers. "We all have bad habits."

"Is that a dig?" Connor snapped slightly. "On me smoking? Ugh nicotine isn't doing it's fucking job." He groaned and rummaged in his bag. All Jared saw was fumbles until Connor brought something up his his lips and inhaled deeply. Probably a good ten seconds too, and let sweet smelling smoke out. Jared cringed slightly.

"You vape?" Jared raised an eyebrow at it. He could make so many virgin jokes about Connor.

"It's a dab pen," Connor mumbled with a shrug. "It's not as stupid."

"Isn't that—?"

"Indica oil."

".... which issss...?"

"Pot, but like essential oils."

"Oh."

Connor glanced with a smirk. "I'd offer a hit but I know you'll choke more than a first try porn star." He grabbed his bag "I'm gonna kick it. I'll see you tomorrow I guess."

That gave Jared a little weird spark of warmth and chest smiles. "Yeah... you too..." his voice drifted from being distracted by his chest feeling tingles.
~

Aye
Boys be interacting

Someone please finally tell Jared what gay feelings are