The Smoke From His Lips

14

"I talked to him," Connor mumbled in awe as he sat down on Zoe's bed with her. "I deadass talked to him and he was nice. Nice. Who fucking...?! What kinda.... Jesus Christ he's confusing!" He shoved the heels of his palms into his eyes until he could see stars. Zoe just sat patiently and listened to Connor ramble. It was nice to be close to her brother, she never really had chances to get along with him, so even sitting next to him and hearing him cuss about Jared was making her smile a bit. "He called me a school shooter before! Then he goes and jokes around with me? And enjoys my company for some fucking reason? And compliments me?!"

Zoe nodded slightly. "Maybe he's just warming up. Is this like a boy issue?"

Boy issue, if not previously known, is basically a phrase of do you have a crush on this boy? without saying it out loud.

Connor picked his head up and glared to the side to Zoe. "Get off my dick about this kinda shit, I'm not asking you if you've got a boy issue with whoever the fuck you hang out with," he grumbled with a slight snap to his tone. He pulled his hair slightly while he pushed it out of his eyes.

"I'm just wondering," Zoe said defensively, raising her hands. "I won't judge it."

"I'm not gay, Zoe."

Zoe paused and had to reel back memories. "I thought you dated that intimidating senior guy your sophomore year? Or maybe freshman year? I don't know, all I remember is wondering if you were into the insane type of guys."

"Dating one guy doesn't make me gay," he snapped quickly, "and that wasn't steady and he was an asshole."

"So you're not gay, and you didn't like him?"

"I liked him."

"So you don't like guys as a whole?"

"I like guys."

"So you don't like girls then?"

"Jesus fuck Zoe!" Connor groaned. "I like both! I'm bi!"

"Oh," Zoe mumbled with a pause. "Oh! Okay that makes sense."

Connor sighed slightly and picked his nail polish off in flakes. "I don't know if it's a boy issue or not anymore," he mumbled distantly as he stared at his nails.

Zoe nodded slightly. She hesitantly patted his back, unsure if he would be okay with that contact. He didn't seem to react negatively, so she let out a small breath. "It's okay Con, you don't have to figure it out right now."

"But it's stupid, I'm stupid, he's stupid, I wanna die," Connor sighed and bit at his lip. He didn't even know if he wanted it to be a boy problem. He wasn't sure if Jared had interest in boys, he didn't know if Jared would ever have interest in him, he didn't know shit really. His insides didn't like his thinking so it all knotted up inside him.

Zoe gently dropped a small bag of cold colored skittles into Connors lap. "It's gonna be okay, alright Connor? Boy issues suck, I know that for a fact right now."

"You have a boy issue right now?" Connor asked curiously and stared at the bag, then glanced and Zoe. He shakily let out a small, faint smile even though it slightly strained him.

"Yeah," Zoe sighed slightly and tucked hair behind her ear. "Evan."

"Jared's friend?" Connor raised an eyebrow. "Shaky li'l sweaty thing?"

"... Yeah. Everyone thinks he's gay for some reason so when I told Alana she gave me the don't be upset if or when he tells you he's gay talk," Zoe groaned quietly while a small chuckle mixed in. She smiled softly and tucked her hair back again.

"Is he gay?"

"No," Zoe snorted slightly with a shrug, "he's just feminine looking and close with Jared, I asked Jared though and he said Evan's straight."

That gave Connor a small spark of idea. "Do you talk with Evan usually?" He rushed out.

Zoe blinked, taken aback a smidge by how goddamn sudden that was from Connor. "Yeah. Why?"

"Can you ask if Jared likes guys? And maybe details about his type?"

"It's a boy issue," Zoe giggled with a small snort. "And yeah, I'll check with Ev."

"It's not a boy issue," Connor snapped with a small groan. "It's... curiousity, So fuck off."

"If you need boy advice," Zoe giggled, "I'll be here for you."

"Whatever," Connor mumbled and stood up, grabbing the skittles and starting to leave. "I'll text you if I need you."

"You too."

Connor left her room and ducked into his own. He shoved a handful of skittles into his mouth and flopped down on his bed. He hated this. Boys suck. He didn't think he would ever say that, but truly, boys suck.
~

We've all been there Connor

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