The Smoke From His Lips

4

High school sucks. Connor kept walking, not drawing any attention to himself. He might as well disappear during his camouflage tactic, but he was oddly okay with that. He would love to disappear, and possibly, never come back. That would be ideal. Not death, just disappearing. Granted, his tactic didn't work, because most spotted him and threw an insult towards him. The one that stuck out the most was from across the hall.

"Hey Connor!" Jared chirped with a cocky smile, an obvious facade of confidence. "Every time I see you, you're always looking so... school shooter chic. Especially loving the 2008 emo look you got going."

It was meant to be a joke, but Jared's tone was sharp and snarky, which wasn't the most joking sounding to most.

That made Connor twitch. Jared seemed so unguarded and even, kind of nice when they were smoking—Connor was smoking, and Jared was trying his best— but now he turns around and mocks him? It fogged Connor's thinking like a hot storm just passed. He's always taken things very personal, and it seemed like a hazy paranoia between him and the outside world, but this felt different to him. It didn't feel hazy. It felt real. Jared was being a prick and it felt real. It... hurt. He thought...

He blinked quite hard and just looked at Jared, not forming words.

Jared just looked nervously over and Connor. "It's uh, a joke, Connor. Funny joke? No offense to it?"

"That wasn't funny, Jared," Evan piped up, who of which Connor didn't even see. He jumped slightly at the new voice, so unfocused on his surroundings and only focused on Jared and his words. Even if he wasn't, a lot of people don't notice Evan at first. "You can't make jokes about school shootings." His voice was meek, stammered slightly at each sentence. He obviously hated correcting Jared in public but it seemed too important of a point to undermine. It made Connors shoulders

"There's definitely offense to that," Connor growled ever so slightly, barely making a sound as he spoke. "Fuck off, I thought you were tolerable."

He went to turn around but he paused, and just looked Jared up and down. His stance shifted, like he was composing himself to be stronger even though he was obviously hurt by even the smallest statement. Did that really hit close to home?

Jared was at a loss of what to say, not having mentally prepared himself for any of that. He wasn't prepared to actually be affected by any responses. Fuck off is rational, but why did it hit so close to home to be called intolerable?

"You're staring like you want me," Jared joked like an arrogant asshole, but his eyes were nervous and bolting around Connors features. It was like every time he saw Connor, something changed. The air, the mood, his eyes, him himself. His head spun and he hated it.

"Don't get your hopes up, Kleinman," Connor spat, fists clenching as a nerve was hit. "I'm bi, I like dudes, I get it, that's soooo weird. But guess what? I'm not a fucking whore low enough to want anything to do with you or anyone like you. Get off my dick and go fuck yourself." He turned and stormed off just like that, not even wanting to lay his eyes on Jared.

So fucking dumb. So fucking dumb to think Jared was a decent person. Why was he only talking relatively calm and respectful at the park? Was this just a game to pull a loose string and make Connor unthread in front of everyone from the false security he tried to build? Connor was over it. He got outside and took out a cigarette, waiting for a ride so he could use his bong. But for now, nicotine was enough to soothe his nerves.

He lit it and watched the smok drift from his lips each drag he took.

He sat in silence on the steps of the school.

"Hey."

Fuck, that scared Connor. He let out a yelp and snapped his head back to see the sheepish, small Evan that Jared has on his arm all day. Jesus that kid was quiet.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry I scared you!" He choked out slightly, voice jumping and dipping even in the short sentence. "I just wanted to talk to you I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"I'm sorry—shit, uh sor—you know what I mean." He scratched the back of his neck and rocked on his heels anxiously.

"It's okay," Connor assured with a small nod and looked straight ahead as he let out wisps of smoke. "Talk away, kid."

Evan took a deep breath and gingerly sat next to Connor on the other side of the stairs. "I'm so so so sorry about Jared he doesn't know when to shut his mouth he probably doesn't mean it."

"Yeah, right."

Evan frowned slightly. "He just, has issues with it all."

"What all?"

"... Is it okay if I explain some of it? I don't wanna be weird, or invade his privacy by telling, I'm sorry."
~

Spicy

Cmon, shooter chic is classic

And Evan has sum luv

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