The Smoke From His Lips

5

Connor looked at Evan curiously. He let the cigarette just hang from his lips and sighed the smoke out of his lungs. Evan accidentally inhaled the smoke and coughed briefly, turning away and cringing from it. He never liked the smoke. It smelled weird, settled heavy in his lungs and burned his throat when he inhaled second hand.

"Shit, sorry," Connor mumbled and exhaled the rest away from Evan this time. He put the cigarette out against the back of his hand, cringing slightly at the sizzling pain, but otherwise not reacting.

"I'm sorry," Evan sheepishly mumbled, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Uh, so, I'm... so damn sorry about Jared."

"You said—"

"I know." Evan paused and looked down. "Sorry, I interrupted. But uh, Jared just, he wants attention when he can get it."

Connor hesitated and looked straight ahead, cracking his knuckles from nervous habit and focused on his thoughts. His eyebrows furrowed and mouth parted like an idiot. "Oh?"

Evan looked at the hem of his shirt as he picked and ripped at loose threads. "Yeah, he says he wants approval from majorities and wants to have attention in a way. I don't, like, quite know what he means, or maybe I just can't relate to it. It's... I don't know what it's, really. Maybe because he didn't get too much attention before. Sorry, I probably don't make too much sense, I'm thinking out loud at this point... Shit I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry, sorry I don't mean to ramble it just happens—"

"Let it happen," Connor interrupted quietly, which made Evan glance over and nod ever so slightly.

"Yeah, so um, yeah Jared doesn't mean to be an asshole," Evan stammered and looked back at his shirt to occupy his eyes and hands. "He can be a prick most times, even to me and we grew up together! Um, yeah he just, wants to be noticed sometimes. It's... kind of sad."

Connor nodded slowly in agreement, so focused on the idea of Jared. He didn't... look like he ever had issues. That's a shitty thing to think but it was a subconscious reaction most people had.

Evan continued. "I really do love him, sometimes I have doubt in if I should. I know sometimes I have doubt if he loves me still, but he does. He just—"

"Are you two dating?" Connor asked a little too quickly, though he was curious. He's seen them together for so long, they seemed so close and Connor just had a curiousity about it, and he didn't know how or why that question just blurted itself out. Well, in Connors defense, who would love Jared? Out of all people? That, well, arrogant, self entitled asshole.

Why was he so invested in this? It made no sense. Why was he even involved? He hated this, he hated this so much because out of all people, why was he dragged into the crowd— well, two people isn't a crowd, but the point still stands. He was a loner and will always be, he shouldn't be talking to them or be interested in Jared or Evan's life or love life, that was creepy as fuck and weird as hell. Well... he was curious. Really curious. Something about it got his attention, and that said something because he really isn't the one for high school romantic drama or getting invested in love lives. High school is stupid, romance is stupid, he didn't like it and he didn't like Jared or Evan. Evan was decent, actually, but Jared wasn't.

"No!" Evan squeaked, turning and facing Connor, studying his expression. The raised eyebrow, squinted eyes, pursed lips. He looked back down. "I, sorry, I'm sorry that was loud. I'm not, we're not boyfriends. I don't take interest in him like that, we're family friends. He's, well, an older brother to me. I didn't really grow up with much of a family besides him so, it's more like that."

"Ah."

Evan nodded slowly and checked the time on his beaten up, off brand cell phone he barely even used. His eyes widened slightly and he quickly grabbed his bag. "Shit, if I don't get going I'm gonna be late seeing my thhherap—uuuuhhhhh doctor!"

"Have fun with your therapdoctor," Connor sighed a slight chuckle, teasing Evan as humor to break any tension.

Evan turned and had the faintest of smiles, but Connor could notice. "I will."
~

I should be studying math but eh, fuck it
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I'm running on minimal sleep and fear