With love comes problems

Secrets

        I’m Jason and I am a 14-year-old boy.  I am quite popular in school and I have pretty great life.  I even have a best friend named Chandler Riggs who plays Carl from “The Walking Dead.”  The biggest problem of my life is having to deal with being, well, gay… but I'm closeted.  I also have a huge crush on my best friend…

            It was mid November and it was Monday.  I heard my alarm go off so I reached my hand over and turned it off.  Then slowly got up, rubbed my eyes, stretched, and stood up.  I then slowly pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt just so I wouldn’t walk around my house in my underwear.  I then rubbed my eyes again and walked out of my bedroom door and went towards the kitchen. I then slowly pulled out a bowl, a spoon, some cheerios, and the milk.  I then stuffed my bowl with cheerios and milk and enjoyed my breakfast.

            After finishing breakfast I said a quick “Good morning” to my mom as I saw her walk past me.  I then put my bowl in the sink and put away the cereal and milk, then went back up to my room when I saw it was 7:30am.  I walked into my room and looked through my clothes for some… well clothes.  I got a black t-shirt, some underwear, and some blue jeans.  I changed then walked back downstairs and grabbed my backpack, then yelled into my house, “Bye!  Going to school!”  I then walked out hearing a “Bye!” from my mom.  I got on my bike and started towards school.

            When I got to my school I went and locked up my bike and then walked to where my group usually hangs out.  I got there and I saw my group, it consisted of:  Chandler, Josh, Wes, Avery, Jasmin, and I.  I walked over to them and gave them a hello wave and gave a bro hug to Chandler.  I then sat down next to them and the group talked amongst ourselves for a while.  When we heard the bell Chandler and I got up and said bye to the group as we started to walk towards our class.  We had Health and Safety together while the rest of our group had P.E. together.

            It was a quiet between us while walking.  Once we got there we sat in our seats, the tables were triangles so they could be arranged in fours, so he sat in the group of four behind me.  When the bell rung to start class we realized we had a substitute.  I heard Chandler get up quietly and walk over to the seat next to me and sit down (The person next to me usually was absent.)  The substitute had his back turned so he didn’t see him switch seats.  The sub started the class telling us his name and what we were doing, just bookwork that was really easy and we could do it in like ten minutes.  Once he walked over to the desk to sit down the class slowly, but surely, started getting louder and louder, but the sub I guess didn’t care enough to say anything.  Right as I grabbed my book out of my backpack I felt Chandler nudge me with his shoulder.  I pulled out my book then looked over to him, “Yeah?”  I asked awkwardly.

            “We barely talk anymore dude…” He started quietly, “We used to talk like every day all day, what happened?”

            “I don’t know…” I lied; I knew exactly why I barely talk to him anymore.  It was because every time we talked one on one he pulls me back into my own living hell, being in love with your best friend who is straight…

            “Well, I’m having a party on Friday, at my house.  You going to come?”

            “Sure.”

          “Kay, so like right after school on Friday just come over, it’ll be a blast.”  He laughs.  After that conversation I slowly drift away from the talking and got back to my work.

            It seemed like the work only took five minutes and right after I finished it I got bored fast.  I started talking to Chandler some more about random stuff.  I feel something on my leg.  It feels like… a hand…  I look around at the three other people at the table; they were Chandler (obviously), Jessie, and Kyle.  I knew it couldn’t be Kyle or Jessie because I saw their hands, all four of them focusing on their work.  I looked over at Chandler confused, the hand still on my leg.  He looks at me as he smiles brightly and I can see him blush just a little bit, making his face a little pink.  I then see him scoot his chair closer to me, and the hand slowly goes up and down my leg.  “What are you doing!?”  I quietly yell in his ear so only he can hear.  I see him blush even more and I feel the hand rub on my inner thigh, I can feel my face getting hot.  The hand then slowly moves up and touches my crotch, I fidget a little bit uncomfortably in my seat, but he doesn’t stop, he just rubs on me.  I then feel the hand slowly unbutton my jeans.  He leans up close to me and pushes his lips to mine and the room goes completely quiet.  I feel awkward because I can tell the whole room is watching us, but I kiss back, his hand still on my crotch.  We pull away to breathe and I get a glimpse at the people in the room, all their jaws dropped, and they stared at us.  Chandler looked me straight into the eyes, his beautiful eyes seemed like they could see through your soul.  He then whispered, “Jason, Jason… Jason!  JASON!!!”