Bittersweet Expectations (Hate at First Flight #0.5)

20. Dreams are Life

Not for the first time that night, I wondered what was going through Ethan Clarke's mind.

Even though we've known each other for almost a month, he continued to confuse and surprise me.

I furrowed my brows together as I watched him, trying to gauge how serious he was with his request that I not leave him.

At first, I wondered if he was only saying those words to test me and see whether I would take him up his offer. Maybe he was checking to see if I was really a gold-digger as he suspected I was and if I would use the chance to try and seduce him.

Then I wondered if he was drunk enough that he had totally lost all his sense of judgement and wouldn't have said that otherwise. Given how much he had had to drink, I wouldn't be surprised if it was because of that.

That was before I saw the expression he wore. If I wasn't shocked into silence I would've laughed at how Ethan Clarke looked.

He looked almost like a little child that was asking his mom to stay with him just until he slept. His eyes held this look of vulnerability that a pup wore as he stared back at you from behind the window of the pet shop, hoping you would adopt it.

He stared at me with an expression that tugged at my heartstrings and made me sigh in defeat as I pushed away any thought of putting up a fight.

When he saw the resistance leave my face, Ethan Clarke smiled almost whimsically before he said, "I'll take that as a yes then."

Once again I sighed as my mind went through the many ways this would play out later.

He could wake up and call me an opportunist for taking advantage of an obviously drunk man. He could get angry and say that he would tell Mrs Clarke and get me fired. Or he could just ignore me and pretend like it never happened.

I hoped for the last one. Whatever the outcome was of me agreeing to stay with him just until he slept would obviously not be a good one.

"You're going to regret this tomorrow," I just muttered, hoping to keep it to myself.

"I might," Ethan laughed when I looked at him shocked. Apparently drunk Ethan Clarke had sharp ears. "But let's not think about that right now. Right now I just want someone to stay with me even if it's just for a little while."

I couldn't even bother to hide the look of surprise that painted my face at his words.

It surprised me that Ethan Clarke was acting so vulnerable in front of me. Never had he acted so vulnerable. He was always yelling or telling me what to do if he was of course not suggesting that I was a gold-digger out to seduce him.

I never even anticipated that there was this side to Ethan Clarke, one that was vulnerable and hated sleeping in the dark, one that would even ask me to stay with him even if just for a little while.

I pressed my lips hard together to stop myself from saying anything that I would obviously regret as soon as I did.

Ethan Clarke let go of my hand before he shifted a little bit into his bed before he tapped the empty space and said, "Sit."

I stared at the part of his bed that he had left empty, not knowing what to do. This was unknown territory.

It would be weird to sit there. It was a taboo in fact.

Ethan Clarke noticed the torn look on my face. "I won't jump on you. That's the last thing to worry about. Believe me."

Instead of the relief that he obviously wanted out of me, I felt hurt by his words.