Bittersweet Expectations (Hate at First Flight #0.5)

18. Closure with the Devil Spawn

I watched my phone ring, my mind blank and at the same time a mess of thoughts.

It rang and rang and rang.

The number wasn't saved on my phone.

However, I would recognize it anywhere. It was imprinted into my memory and even though I willed myself to forget it, I knew it by heart.

Even though I had deleted it from my contact list, I couldn't delete it from my memory.

I continued to stare at my phone as Finn's number disappeared from my screen once he ended the call. Only then did I release the breath that I had been holding.

Why was he calling me? What did he have to say? Was he calling to say sorry or to taunt me?

The one time that I'd spoken to him since that night was the night before I moved to New York.

I hadn't answered his calls before that. I had only given in that one time because I wanted to tell him just how much he had hurt me. I wanted to prove to him that I was moving on with my life and that I didn't want to have anything to do with him at all.

However, in the end, I couldn't bring myself to say the words that I wanted to say. He talked most of the time, telling me how it was just a one time thing with Kaitlyn and that he loved me. Then he said that he was sorry and that he wanted me back and that he would never do it again.

The entire time, I was crying as he spoke. I cried because I knew that half of me still wanted him back and that that half was willing to believe his words. I cried because even though he sounded sincere with his words, the other half of me knew that he wasn't at all. That half knew that Finn would do the same thing to me again.

The last thing I had said to him then was goodbye before I ended the call. I ended it quickly because I knew that if I kept talking to him, he would eventually convince me to give him another chance. That if he continued to tell me those lies, I might actually decide to fall for it and go back to him.

My phone started ringing again, drawing me out of my thoughts and back onto the screen.

The same number was calling me. Finn was calling me again.

In the four weeks since I moved to New York and started working at the Clarke's, Finn Hammond had only crossed my mind three times. And two of those times was because Ethan Clarke was involved. The other was just as I moved into the city.

I had promised myself that I would stop thinking of him because he represented a past that I wanted to forget and leave behind. A past memory that hurt me the more I thought about it.

However, at the same time, I knew that in that same time frame, I had gotten to a place that made me resolute enough to handle talking to Finn.

Besides, if I was to move on, I knew that I had to talk to him and get a closure of sorts. It would be a way to get Finn Hammond entirely out of my system and a way to move on without him plaguing me.

My phone kept ringing and I just stared at it, wondering whether I should answer it or not. I decided to it do it. If not to end his calls, but for my peace of mind and sanity.

Before I could change my mind, I found myself reaching for my phone and answering it.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down, hoping that everything would go smoothly.

No one said anything for a minute. Instead we both just listened to one another breathing.

Finn was the one who broke the silence, his voice instantly caused my chest to tighten and for my breathing to stop momentarily. I had forgotten how his voice usually affected me.