Twice One Shots

Sana - It's So Hard

!!PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR NOTE AT THE END!!

Y/N's POV

Honestly, I'm still not used to this. I keep having this nostalgic feeling of you. I love you, a lot. But do you love me too? Everything felt so secured and so in place. It was almost perfect. Maybe that's why I believed all your sweet white lies. I believed that you were in love with me, I believed you were never going to leave, I believed I meant something to you and I held a special place in your heart. I believed. I guess I must've loved you a lot back then. But I must have been the only one in love. Now I can see it.

I can see that you were never really in love with me, and it hurts that I can finally see it now, after so many months. I can finally see that I was never the one. I was always the second choice. But I never wanted to believed it because I, believed in you. I always thought that maybe I'm just having second thoughts or I'm just being to paranoid. But I should've noticed the signs and took my insecurities as a caution to end things. But like I said, I, believed in you. Your words were so sweet that I didn't see pass your inner evil.

It's so hard.

It's so hard to live.

It's so hard to put on a fake smile everyday and tell everyone that I'm okay.

It's so hard to keep myself busy just to feel okay.

It's so hard to stay positive.

It's so hard mentally and physically.

It's so hard, Minatozaki Sana.

Minatozaki Sana, my first and last love.
You broke my heart.
  You said you loved me.
   You said you cared for me.
    But at the end, I was the one who cared and loved you the most.
     You was my last resort of comfort.
      Now that I know the truth, it's to hard to bear this pain and live on anymore.
       I'm sorry, and I love you.
        This is my last good bye.
    
-Y/N:)

Sana's POV

After I poured some milk into my cereal, I made my way to the sofa and sat down. Since my cable went out I had nothing else to watch but the news. I grabbed my controller and turned on the tv.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

A 17 year old girl named Y/N Y/L had just committed suicide today at 7:30am. She left many letters saying how her family hates her, how her family never really cared about her or made her felt like a part of the family and how her first and last love broke her heart.

I choked when I heard my ex-now dead girlfriend's name.

The family is devastated and never knew she felt that kind of way because she was always "so bright and positive". The family had also said they never knew she was in a relationship or heard of a relationship. The authorities are having more investigation in this and are saying maybe Miss Y/L was depressed but was to scared to seek for help and maybe the family has something to do with this sudden death and maybe even the ex-girlfriend. With further said, if your going through something and your thinking about suicide, please call 1-800-273-8255, and that's it for today, we'll get back to you guys tomorrow! And this has been your local news.

Tick-tock-tick-tock.

The sounds of the clock was all I heard.

Y/N.

My Y/N.

/Knock Knock/

I got up and went to my door. I looked through the peep hole just to see 2 police officers. I then slowly open the door.

"Hello, is this Miss Minatozaki Sana's House?" One of the police officer asked.

"Yes it is, sir. How may I help you?" I asked.

"You are currently noted down as one of Miss Y/N Y/L's suspects in her sudden death. We need you to come in tomorrow at 12pm so we can investigate. Oh, and here's her letter before she committed suicide. See you tomorrow ma'am." The other officer said before handing me a letter and leaving.

I closed the door quickly and went to my sofa to read the letter.

"Minatozaki Sana, my first and last love.
You broke my heart.
  You said you loved me.
   You said you cared for me.
    But at the end, I was the one who cared and loved you the most.
     You was my last resort of comfort.
      Now that I know the truth, it's to hard to bear this pain and live on anymore.
       I'm sorry, and I love you.
        This is my last good bye.
    
-Y/N:)".

Guilt and grief is what I am feeling right now. I should've never played with her feelings from the start. It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

It's to hard to live like this.

It's so hard...

-The end-

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just want to say that if your going through something and is thinking about suicide, please don't do it. It may seem like no one is there and it'll be better off if your dead but it really isn't. IF you are thinking about suicide or need someone to talk to please call 1-800-273-8255 or you can message me. It won't hurt to make a new friend;) And just a quick question, should I make this one shot into a book? Cause I originally wrote this as a book but then I decided to write it here instead. Lol, please give me your opinion because IT IS NEEDED! Thank you so much!!!