i just want you to know who i am

Chapter 17

Guilt flowed through Cheryl's veins, keeping her stiff and on edge for days. She avoided everyone as much as she could, especially Toni. She felt like enough of a burden on her girlfriend. Last time she spoke to her was Saturday after she dropped her off at Pop's, four days ago. On the rare occasion that she met Toni's gaze since then, the brunette's eyes were filled with worry, making Cheryl feel even more guilty. She didn't want Toni to worry about her.

Wednesday during lunch, she was sitting with Betty and Archie like she always did, avoiding looking at Toni who was seated across the room at her regular table. She hated avoiding her like this. She was the one person who had the ability to give her the comfort she needed. But it wasn't fair to keep dragging Toni into her problems. She probably had better things to do than to keep coming to her rescue.

"I'll be right back," she mumbled quietly, getting up from her seat at the cafeteria table, leaving her backpack and other belongings with Betty. She let out a deep sigh as she walked through the halls towards the closest bathroom, not noticing that Toni was following a few paces behind her. There were a few girls in the bathroom, touching up their makeup in the mirrors as Cheryl walked around them to the furthest sink from the door, washing her hands distractedly, though it was a struggle with the sleeves of her sweater pulled down to her wrists.

"Hey, Blossom!" a sharp voice echoed through the bathroom, making just about everyone in the room flinch. "I need to talk to you," Toni said in her familiar head bitch tone, sending a chill down her spine. Toni practically stomped into the bathroom, pointing a finger to the door when she approached the other girls. "Get out," she demanded, making the girls scramble for their things so they could leave as soon as possible. Once they left, Cheryl was left standing stunned in place as Toni checked the stalls for anyone else, going to lock the bathroom door once the coast was clear.

"W-what are you doing?" she stammered. This is the first time she'd spoken to her since their kiss goodbye on Saturday evening.

"You've been avoiding me for days, Cher, what's going on?" her voice was much softer than when she had entered the bathroom, with a tone that comforted the redhead.

"Nothing, I've just been busy," she pushed her glasses up her nose nervously, averting her gaze as Toni stepped closer. She should have known that she wouldn't believe her. Cheryl had never been great at lying. Even if she was, sometimes it felt like Toni could read her like a book.

"I know we've only been going out for like, a week and a half, babe, but I think I know you well enough to know when something's wrong," Toni uncrossed her arms from in front of her chest and reached out to tuck red hair behind Cheryl's ear. "What happened when you got home on Saturday?" she whispered. Her soft voice mixed with her gentle touch and worried eyes had Cheryl trembling, like she was a shaken can of soda and the truth was ready to explode out of her.

A tear slipped down her cheek as she felt herself breaking down. The truth was eating away at her. She'd wanted to tell Toni since the minute it happened, but she couldn't bear to see the hurt in her eyes.

"Please tell me, honey. I need to know so I can help you," Toni spoke so quietly, brushing the tear from her trembling cheek, but that just made more tears fall from her eyes as her body shook.

"You shouldn't always have to help me," Cheryl whispered, starting to wring her hands nervously.

"You're my girlfriend, Cheryl, I want to help you," she took her hands, stopping her from fidgeting with her own fingers as she leaned in to press her forehead against hers, "Please."

Cheryl's breath was ragged when she took a deep breath in, kissing her slowly, unable to resist with their faces so close. It astounded her how such a simple act could have her starting to feel the slightest bit better already. "Is the door locked?" she asked quietly, sniffling a bit when Toni nodded her head. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she stepped back from her and slowly started to tug her sweater over her head, revealing her plain white bra and dark bruises littered around her arms and back. She avoided Toni's eyes at all costs, but the slight gasp the brunette let out made it clear that she was shocked.