Never Going To Give This Up

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As she made her way backstage, gripping her award in one hand, she still couldn't believe it.

She still couldn't believe a lot of things - how far she had come in these past two years.

The day it started, the day one of the photos her friends took of her as the last minute stand in propelled her from living behind the camera to right in front of it, she didn't know what she was getting herself into. She had seen from observing the people in the business the toll that it took, but that was nothing compared to actually living it.

She didn't know how much she'd have to sacrifice, all the time she'd lose away from her friends and family, all the blood, sweat and tears, all of the visible and invisible trolls that hated her for simply existing and wouldn't waste a moment reminding her that she was in some way lesser.

She couldn't have fathomed at that point the amount of sleep she'd lose that was almost proportional to the extent her every action would be scrutinized and all the rules that would be imposed on her.

She could never have imagined what this life would bring with it.

She could have also never imagined the people this life would introduce her to.

The members on the cast of A Love So Beautiful and Meteor Garden that became like family, that became her anchor so far away from home.

The fans that she met today, who travelled so far just to meet her, who cared genuinely about her well being, who appreciated her weirdness and desire to be genuine, and who were the voices that drowned out the haters.

The places she was able to travel to, the foods she was able to eat, the things she was able to see.

This life also brought with it some positives.

And when she walked into her changing room, she saw the biggest positive of all. She saw him.

Looking absolutely handsome, hair immaculately in place, with a large smile on his face - looking like home.

He was here. Here even though he had commitments not a couple of hours ago in a completely different city.

Looking at her boyfriend, standing in her dressing room, just for her, made all of the emotions that she felt while receiving her award come rushing back like a tidal wave.

And so she rushed into his arms and promptly burst into tears.

She felt his arms instantly go around her and his hands stroke her hair as his voice whispered soothing sounds in her ear as she listened to his heartbeat and let all of the sorrow, all of the frustration, all of the angst wash over her and exit her body.

Wrapped up in his arms, she could only feel relief that this path brought her him. She was so thankful to have found the protective, witty, funny, supportive tiger who was currently singing in her ear. He made her feel confident and happy and it was through the strength of his belief in her that made her believe in herself all that more and ignore all of the hateful remarks. He featured in so many of her good memories since entering the spotlight and had the amazing ability to turn a sad moment into a happy one, to make her laugh when she was about to cry, with just his presence.

She reluctantly drew back from his very warm and inviting chest to look up at him. His hands immediately went to cup her face and she felt his thumbs wiping away her tears as he looked at her in concern, "Are you alright?"

She nodded tearfully and whispered, "I'm just so happy you're here."

He smiled and lifted her up, "I saw it all. I'm so proud of you love. There is no one who deserves that award more than you."

He looked up at her, "Yueyue, know that even if I can't be up there on stage with you, holding you in my arms, I will always be there, supporting you. I'm your biggest fan. "

She cupped his face with one hand and grasped the nape of his neck with the other as she leaned down to kiss him, "I love you so much."

He whispered against her lips, "I love you more" before he stole her lips in a passionate kiss that drowned out the rest of the world.

She was filled with nothing but the feeling of his lips on hers and his love as time ceased to exist in his arms.

When they broke apart to get air, he teasingly said, "I saw you making mooncakes for your fans. What is this? Where are my mooncakes? I want a mooncake made by my moon. I am after all your biggest fan."

She laughed before leaning down and kissing him again, promising all of the mooncakes in the world.

She knew looking into his eyes, filled with love and concern for her, that she wasn't going to give this up. It may be hard, it may be difficult, but she was going to fight for them, for him, because she was happiest when she was around him, she loved him, he loved her and he had supported her from the very beginning. And that's all that matters.

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