Stay with me 'till the end (Ferard)

Chapter 9

A/N weeeeee an update. i figure that it was only appropriate that updated today considering todays the 10th anniversary of Gees sobriety!!!

Im so proud of him! Everyone has to write "very much alive" somewhere on them!!! I have it written on my wrist anyway enjoy my potatoes <3

Gerards POV

With my dad gone, the squeezing worry that takes up my heart has loosened its hold on me. The worry is not completely gone, for fear of him making bail, but the fact that he isn't as much of a threat comforts me some.

But i cant help but feel depressed. He was my father after all, and although homophobic, i still loved him no matter how many times i have considered ripping his throat out.

Frank comforted me for hours stroking my hair lovingly and letting me cry into his shirt. after awhile i began to calm down, my breathing became more even, and the pain in my face subsided to a dull throbbing.

I instructed Frank to go lay down on my bed, after all its been hours and the time was nearing 11 o' clock. He agreed grudgingly and he trudged away to my room.

As i watched him disappear, i stood up, standing on shaky legs. I brought myself over to the mirror hanging on the wall and i inspected my face. I sported a bright red handprint on my cheek and my eye was beginning to darken and bruise.

I heard Frank before i saw him, he stood there staring at me across the room. " Gee? Whats wrong?" My face hardened in anger. If it wasn't for Frank i wouldn't have gotten shot, if Frank never met me, my dad would have never discovered i was gay and i wouldn't be in this situation.

I turn to him, my face flushed in anger as i realized that Frank has caused my problems. He has ruined my life and he's oblivious to it. " Get out." i say to him, hissing through my teeth. He looked shocked, taking in what i had just said and his mouth dropped open in disbelief.

"Wh- gee I-" i silenced him. " Shut up! don't you realize you caused this? don't you realize my dad would have never known i was gay if u never met me? you ruin everything! You are the reason i was shot and i want you out of my house. I hate you." i say bitterly, giving him a pointed look. I was holding back tears, i didn't need him in my life all i needed was a blade. Because they were always there when i needed an escape, Frank was only a temporary thing anyway, to take my mind of everything before i turn back to cutting.

Tears began to fall from Franks eyes, one then two, then a flood of tears escaped and he broke down. "I loved you-" he sobbed, burying his face in his hands. Tears threatened in my eyes, but i held them back, he didnt deserve my pity. After all he messed my life up, didnt he? "how long?" He said bitterly "how long where you gonna play with my head, promising me the world and instead giving me nothing. am i so insignificant to you, that you only pitied me and gave me false love?"

At that he sank to the floor tears pooling and dripping from his hands where his head was buried. I went to him, in attempt to comfort my lover but stopped when he gave me a look of pure unfiltered hatred. "I fucking hate you." he spat glaring up at me. he stood and clenched his fists, " you never loved me, not when we met, not today not yesterday. But guess what, i don't love you like i thought i did yesterday." At that he spun on his heel and stormed out the front door, leaving it open. I sank to my knees, tears pooling in my eyes.

What have i done to the one i love the most? After hours of lying on the floor, my heart heavy, i got up and made my way to the bathroom where my box of blood and steel was hidden, this time I'm making this pain permanent. i want to make myself feel the pain i caused Frank, i don't want to forget what i did.

A/N i am so sorry! i needed something to happen between them because it got very dry! I'm sorry for the triggers and shit so if it bothers you please don't read!

But anyway ya a shortish update I'm having some writers block so ya. hopefully ill have some smut next chapter, maybe some more Rikey *shrug* hope you enjoyed! *blows a kiss before you go* goodbye my potatoes! <3