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Nalite Hunter; Azarias Drake - RexEynon

Please remember that even though this may seem harsh, I am only trying to help you improve your writing. And i would like to see you take some of this feedback, and use it because i have put my time and effort into it. Here is your review RexEynon

Title: I really like your title, it goes with the story well, it isn't to long. It draws the reader in, I found it quite memorable as well. So 10/10

Cover: I feel like your cover could have been a bit better. It isn't the worst I've seen, but your story definitely deserves a better cover. I'm not a huge fan of the person in the front. It's sort of an action story so maybe use a silhouette running or something that tells more about the story than just the guy standing there. I like the font but your name was too small on the cover and it was so small it appeared blurry and was sort of hard to see and because of that both the words and background were read which made it even worse. Make it bigger. You want people to acknowledge that this is your story. There is also a lot of red and fire. There hasn't been much mention about fire being his powers or something like that, so unless there's more about that or it is a key thing then I would recommend making the cover about a key thing that happens in the story. As I've said before there are plenty of cover makers out their who would be willing to make you a cover, including me. So a 6/10

Blurb: wow. I'm a huge fan of your blurb, it draws the reader in, and really tells us what may happen in the story. But you only have a rhetorical question at the end. I would advise putting more in or using other language techniques to really spark the reader's attention and get them to think about the story and what will happen in it. 9/10

Plot: your plot is pretty good! Your story was a bit slow moving, it's not a problem but personally, I like faster moving stories but that's just my opinion and everyone is different. Other than that it's great, really original and really sparks my attention.8/10

Characters: you only really have one character at the moment and you don't really have a set villain apart from what the hunters hunt. Not all stories need real villains but it will usually make the story more interesting. So maybe you could make like a mother nalite? The mother of all nalites? And then azarias has to kill her or something. I don't know it's entirely up to you. But what I would do would be to give the readers more insight on azarias's personality and thoughts. 6/10

Setting: I really like it. You've given really good descriptions at times. Just make sure you're giving us a good vivid image in our mind on what the place looks like. So for example, if he's in a bar you could say " the bar was loud and noisy, the tables sticky, and the alcohol cheap and tasteless. The room was lit by multiple candles on a chandelier, giving an eerie glow." so just make sure you are putting that image in the reader's mind. I was at times a bit confused on where he was so also make sure to tell/show the audience that but good job so 8/10

Grammar: your grammar was amazing. I couldn't find anything wrong with it but, everyone does have mistakes in their writing. Grammar is not my strongest suit so I'm not always the best person to ask about that. But great job!! 10/10 for grammar!

Your overall score was 57/70! Great job!

General feedback: I really liked the story! I was hooked most of the time. The grammar was exceptional. The storyline was great, but just add a few plot twists to really capture the attention of the reader. Remember there are plenty of people willing to make covers so go and get one from one of them! So great job! I would definitely read more!!

Please remember if you have any problems with your review please message me privately. But otherwise great job, I can't wait to see more!!