Strange Coffee and Other stories - Ja2Anjelica

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Okay before I even start - I'm so sorry that this took so long, and even though i dont want to make an excuse becaise its unnaceptable for me to say itll be done in approx 2 weeks and take 2 months (probably more) to get round to it - but i have been drowning in schoolwork lately anyway hopefully ill get the rest of these reviews back on the road soon!
Please remember that even though this may seem harsh, I am only trying to help you improve your writing. And i would like to see you take some of this feedback, and use it because i have put my time and effort into it. Here is your review Ja2Anjelica

Title: ok your title could have been so much better like it doesn't really describe the story much and it says short stories like where is the strange coffee coming from. Readers dont in a look at a book which has a normal title it can't be something that's the same as everything else I can't be boring it's got to be enticing and make the reader want to know more. 2/10

Cover: your cover is literally just Cole Sprouse. What has that got anything to do with your story. Like good job you've got cover with a title and your name on it. But it's got nothing to do with this story. And it's not very interesting it's just black and white and I'm not saying black and white is bad but for your story I think it needs like your colour so you can draw people in three they actually want to read story. It also just looks like if it's on the internet which you put words on. As I said many times before the hundreds of cover the Makers out there you can even feel free to shoot me and him and we'll see what we can do but your couple could just be you so so much better. Reader's want to see a good cover so that they know that you're willing to put the effort into your book and cover at the moment shows that you don't want to put 100% effort in your book. 3/10

Blurb: there isn't really much that you blow that makes people want to read your book. It doesn't really make sense and it confuses people. Well it confused me at least. it's very short and I'm not saying that short is bad but it's is way too short for your story and it describes what happens in the story but it doesn't really spark interest for the raiders. it just seems like its not something that readers want to read. A good scaffold that could be followed is dialogue text and then dialogue. This is because if I to see dialogue that's interesting it makes me want to read as you can find it and what they want to know what happened. 2/10

Plot: your plot was too slow moving for a wattpad book, in a wattpad book you need something interesting to happen in every chapter stop. If something doesn't happen in every chapter then the readers get bored and unengaged. Usually reader say, okay I'll finish this chapter then do my homework or something and when they get to the end of the chapter oh no!this girl died! i'm just going to read the next chapter then i'll stop. And it just keeps going and going. So as much as you hate reading cliffhangers, it's what keeps your readers engaged. Your plot does have interesting concepts, but it could be written in a lot more detail and a lot better. I got really confused at times, so you need to expand on everything as well. 3/10

Characters: during the first chapter is when you should be introducing your main character and giving the readers an insight of their personality. In your story, i don't really get to know him very well, just that he's like "the other". In a good wattpad book, your character should have a relatable personality, something interesting about them - just something that sparks the reader's attention. You also need to describe how they look/dress like what are they wearing? The audience can only imagine what they think, they can't read your mind and see what your imagining. Overall 2/10

Setting: okay most of the time i was reqlly confused about where you were, you also dont describe the places very well, you need to create that vivid image in the readers mind so they can see what you see, compare, say 'a forest of green trees' to 'the forest was a luscious green, covering the mountain range' and 'the forest was a beautiful luscious green, the trees were tall and were the home to hundreds of bugs and insects. The forest stretched from mountain to mountain as far as you could see' like can you see the difference between these examples? The first one gives barely any description, the second gives just enough to paint that image in the reader's mind, but also allows them to imagine components of the forest and the third one describes wayyy to much, readers don't want to read 10 paragraphs about how a forest looks. At the moment your doing the first option, just make sure you clearly state where they are and how the place looks. 2/10

Grammar: as ive said 100 times before - Grammar is not my forte so im probably bot the best person to ask about this, but as far as i can see, good job with grammar 8/10

Your overall score was: 22/70

General feedback: keep going, it takes enormous corage to even publish a book on wattpad, and even though it could have some improvements, just be proud of yourself for having the courage to put something up, Some people dont have the courage too shate their books, and never get the recognition they deserve, but keep writing!no matter what!

Please remember if you have any problems with your review please message me privately. But otherwise great job, I can't wait to see more!!

Wow okat - I stayed up way too late doing this but anyway i hope my review was helpful!

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