Raven Book Reviews |CLOSED FOR CATCHUP|

Secrets of a known stranger - SSGeet

Please keep in mind that I have put my time an effort into this review, and what I've said are my opinions. This review may seem harsh, but I have good intentions and am only trying to help you improve your writing. Please take your time to read through this carefully SSGeet

Title: I feel like the title is quite wordy, and that can either be a good or bad thing depending on the reader. It fits pretty well with the story so I'd say a 7/10

Cover: your cover somehow both looks like a picture from the internet with words on it, or really well done. And I'm not sure how you've achieved that, but at the same time it sorta fits with the story. I feel like you could make a few differences though, instead of just two people holding hands you could get a third, sing e a lot of the book is based around rose, Ryan and Aaron, I feel like doing that would also create a lot more depth to the cover. Overall a 6/10

Blurb: before even reading the book and seeing the first line of the blurb I immediately thought no. One of my pet peeves is where an author includes things about the story that don't have much to do with the actual story itself. One of the worst ways to start or end a blurb in my opinion is by saying "a rollercoaster of emotions" or "read to find out what happens next" or anything along those lines. Seeing things like that instantly makes me turn away, it makes the authors seem desperate. Also the way you've phrased things. It doesn't really flow smoothly one of the reasons being the first paragraph is 2 sentences. Sentences aren't supposed to be that long. Also there's too much information in too little words, I'm not saying make your blurb 1000 words, but don't be afraid to spread it out and don't give away so much information. The key to a good blurb is something that captures the readers attention and doesn't give them too much about the story, which is what makes them want more. So instead of the first paragraph you could write; "After four long years, Rose Drew has returned back to her hometown, and to her best-friend, neighbor and unrequited love, Aaron Abner.  The only thing is that Aaron is basically a stranger to her now. But after meeting Ryan Jason, and Laurel Reynolds, a whole new world of relationships is opened." So if you look at that compared to your normal blurb i feel like it flows a lot more easily than yours, it's a lot less wordy. If you wanted I can help you rewrite your blurb as well (just dm me privately) otherwise I'd have to give your blurb a 2/10

Plot: your plot progresses at a really good pace, but I feel like a lot of it is just there to emphasise the drama and tension between Rose, Aaron and Ryan. And yes that is good, but you don't want your whole plot to just be Aaron and Ryan fighting over Rose and stuff, I feel like there needs to be 'more' to it. And although your plot moves at a good pace I feel like some relationships are a bit rushed, and if relationships are rushed then the readers can't get as invested in the story as they could be. In chapter 13 when Rose and Ryan fight, he's laughing and Rose is like am i that funny to you  then it gets all serious and they say let's talk about it tomorrow. I don't think it being the weekend is a good enough reason to talk about a fight someone has had the next day, it just doesn't really make sense to me. But then after that it's even more confusing because he's taking her out on a date, that makes even less sense to me. I feel like your timeline isn't quite right either; because in chapter 14 it says she hasn't had her first kiss but correct me if I'm wrong; she was kissing Ryan in the car outside the coffee place. I feel like after chapter 14 the plot and all the events just gets a bit confusing. Like chapter 3 she's got to mostly harmless love interests; by chapter 20 she's got 3ish love interests, one of them is an alcoholic, and there's something to do with guns now?I feel like it progresses from chicklit romance or something to like mafia romance (just not that extreme lol) anyway I'll have to give your plot a 5/10 because it is just really hard to understand the events sometimes.

Characters: ok your characters are good, there are a good amount of them and not an overwhelming amount of side characters either which is really good. but in saying that I feel like they have some weird reactions to events that occur within the story, like I feel like their reactions are a bit out of place sometimes. I also think we can get to know the characters on a deeper level, and a lot sooner, so far i feel like you've just shown us the tip of an ice-berg. Like you could even have in an early chapter a slumber party where they play never have I ever with drinks or something idk and give the readers more information that way. Otherwise im really happy with your characters 6/10

Setting: your setting is pretty good, I nearly always know where the characters are which is really good. The next thing to do after that is to describe their surroundings in more detail so the readers can really understand what the place looks like, or what the vibe of the place is if you get what I'm trying to say. Otherwise Imma say really good job 7/10

Grammar: this a really common thing amongst writers but make sure when your writing dialouge, or internal thoughts your writing how they would say it, so what that basically means is don't say "I am" because that's not how a person speaks, much less a teenager, instead say "I'm" doing that also helps the story flow better! I also noticed a few basic grammar mistakes, and also places where things don't really make sense; so if you have a friend or someone willing to edit that can be easily fixed! overall a 6/10

Your overall score was 39/70

General feedback: overall great job! There's a lot of potential in your story and I look forward to seeing where it goes. I think if you are going to do a rewrite or a mass editing the the things you need to focus on is the order of events so people don't get confused, getting deeper into the characters personalities, appropriate responses for the situation; remember these guys are basically teenagers think about how a normal teenager acts (they don't go up to someone to talk about a fight and say they'll talk about it the next day) because that's sorta unrealistic when it comes to teens/young adults, and finally just grammar with dialogue on how people speak. Overall, keep writing your story has so much potential, great job! :)

If you have any problems with this review please do not hesitate to contact me but I will not tolerate rudeness about it. Thanks, Raven.