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Sabine - Starry_Birdie

Please remember that even though this may seem harsh, I am only trying to help you improve your writing. And i would like to see you take some of this feedback, and use it because i have put my time and effort into it. Here is your review Starry_Birdie

Title: your title works well with the story so I can't criticize it much but at the moment without the pre-story part it's just sabine, I feel like you could do a bit more with it like, savine the master of… i don't know it's your story you choose but overall good job! 9/10

Cover: I like your cover, but it's a bit plain, I'm not saying that's bad, but you have space to put things in to make the audience want to read your story more so use it. Maybe add a subtitle or something. You could do a lot more with the cover and it has so much potential. I feel like a different font for the story would be more suiting as well so for your cover overall a 6/10

Blurb: I quite like your blurb, you've used good language techniques. I think though you could shorten a few of your sentences in it. And put a few more language techniques like rhetorical question at the start to really draw them in when they first see your story. So for your blurb an 9/10 

Plot: I really like your plot, it's quite original and interesting. Just make sure to keep surprising your readers with a plot twist or other things like that. It helps the readers stay engaged throughout the story. You haven't finished your story yet so I'm not 100% sure about what will happen but overall 9/10.

Characters: you could definitely give us some more information on the characters to help the readers get to know your characters and really connect with them. So more background info, their likes and dislikes etc. You get what I mean. You need to show us more of your characters personality and then the audience may be able to see it change throughout the book. So describe the characters more. Overall a 6/10 for characters

Setting: your setting is good. I can see the image you place in the reader's mind but sometimes I'm a bit confused on where she is. So make sure to show/tell us where she is. Sometimes you also explain things to much. You want to paint a picture in the reader's mind but give them the space to allow their mind to wonder with some of the smaller details on what everything looks like. Overall a 6/10 for your setting

Grammar: your grammar is pretty good. As i've said before grammar isn't my strongest suit so I might not be the best person to ask about grammar. But dialogue. You need to use dialogue correctly you should be doing this:

Harry looked at Ron and Hermione,

“Run” he bellowed.

Ron and Hermione sprinted away from the dementors.

Not like this (which is what you are doing)
Harry looked at Ron and Hermione “Run” he bellowed. Ron and Hermione sprinted away from the dementors.
But apart from that issue as far as I can see your grammar is really good! 7/10 for that

Your overall score was 52/70 great job!!

General feedback: just watch the amount of description you're putting in; at some points your putting in to much description and it started to get a bit tedious and boring so just watch that! Make sure to fix up your dialogue as well! And maybe just add a subtitle to your cover and use some of the space on the cover to make it look more interesting. But great job!! I cant wait to see more!

Please remember if you have any problems with your review please message me privately. But otherwise great job, I can't wait to see more!!