Hi.....to everyone who's reading this.....today....I feel like shit cause yesterday I had a Mental Break Down and almost did again twice today.....
I know that those who see this.....,I Want Everyone to know....that I wish to not have existed.....Cause Nobody Can help Me.....when i need someone.....they arent there......Like My Besties,and Like My Squishy xXLove-And-HateXx or even my Internet Father -AlphaSavage- .....I Understand....Nobody Knows How To Help me.....everyone Has Tried to.....I Simply Dont Want To Exist Anymore....for those who dont know.....I Already Have A Plan.....I Have Many of Them if one doesnt work.....I'll simply do the other....and if that one doesnt work.....I'll Just Use My Parents Gun To Shoot Myself.....nobody is gonna stop me anyways.....and it's the only way I'm going to end this non stop Suffering my mind puts me through.....the suffering ive had to put up with since I was 11years old......its gotten much worse then people Telling Me Things or saying things about me or The Abuse I've endured from people in the past....its gotten to the point where my mind does everything,my mind brings up what has happened to me in the past and brings up the words and names people have called me and Makes Up thoughts that arent true but seem so real to the point where I believe they are true and it causes me to Ruin Everything.....it was me that ruined almost every relationship I've had with someone just because I'm not good enough and I've never been good enough for somebody,I've never been perfect for someone,and I've always been the reason a Person is Angry....I'll try to shoot down the thoughts that my mind is creating but it gets worse when I do that....I even tell myself that Squishy Doesnt want Me To feel this way A d That I Dont ever want him to see me like this but I have to face the fact that I cant control this anymore,I'm so far gone Mentally that I Cant Control How I Feel and I've tried Getting Help But that Never Helped Me,I'm so far gone to the point where Help doesnt Exist and help is never going to help me.....so maybe if I just dont Exist Anymore then maybe this will all stop and nobody has to get hurt and there would be no more people to give up on me.....no more people that would have to hurt me to make me realize that I'm not worth it,and Mom Wouldnt Have to Worry About Medical Bills and Spending Money on me,she wouldnt have to be so stressed over money and itd be one less person she'd have to be gentle With.....
And everyone would be much more happier without me.....
