Dream On Fire

(20) Calm thoughts...

For me a few days seems like a while so:

It's been a while... I haven't been as opened these days. It's not like I want to keep things to myself it's just that I feel this inner peace sort of thing... I can't call it being completely peaceful or calm since there is still things going on inside my head.

Lately I've been thinking about the past... how much I miss it... and how I wish it had never ended...

I had hard times when being little but regardless of all I want to go back in time to were we where friends...
To that time were not only did we talk much more but I could open to you... even about things such as why I liked you and why I thought you actually looked good to me...

I have said it before to you...

I just wish I could do it again...
I haven't changed my mind... you are still so perfect to my eyes but what has changed is the way I view what I would like with you...

I like to be a strong woman and say my feelings... I like to feel like as much as I can tell you stuff you can too but,

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to be the only one doing all the work... I feel like it's only me who tries to communicate with you...

Would you still talk to me if I stopped messaging you? Would you start liking me? Do you feel like you might like me... at least... just a little?

I am not a person that gives up easily so... I won't give up on you... at least...  not entirely...

By this I mean that I might stop wanting to have something with you other than friends but... you can and will always be able to count on me like... maybe... a mega best friend?

Dear future,
If I were to ever open up to my crush like this I'd say: "Please, if you like me say it to me... bring back my hope. But if you don't like me... say it too... say it directly go straight to the point... it'll hurt... I'm sure it will but... I'll be fine just like I've been all this time by your side being just this...

Whatever we are."

Sincerely,
The friend? Mega friend?Of a long time crush.