Dream On Fire

(53) Party night...

The party didn't go as I hoped it would...
don't get me wrong it was amazing and I wouldn't change it... or not for the most part...

Maybe I would just change the fact that I wasn't brave enough to speak to you the whole time but honestly...

I had fun! I was with my friends (that are girls) and also my friends that are guys but let me tell you something!!!

Only one guy from our friend "squad" was the one to actually be dancing and the rest looked like dead trees or something (and no, I don't only say this because they were taller than me even with high heels... well... maybe just a little bit) and guess what!?

Well...
you can't really talk can you? I mean you are just a book I created to speak out the things I would never even accept I ever thought of so...

Well, we made this statues DANCE!!!

You can call me artist, you can call me idol or magician and either name I will still not know how in the world I (and some friends) made those rock solid statues dance!!! (by the way BTS fans "aka:army" no pun intended in the previous text... jajaj)

Anyways...

It was an AMAZING party!!!

To be honest I DID feel sad that I never got the braveness to go and ask you myself to dance but... I guess I did correctly since you looked really comfortable with your group of friends and well I had to take care of a friend that had no idea how this type of parties go so I believe it was a positive move I took...

It not like I don't regret not speaking to you but... I (in a weird way) not fully regret it either because I felt like maybe... just maybe...

I could actually survive a party with you without trying to do something because I feel something for you and I could actually wait for whatever happened next...
No matter if it meant you would never be near me... the important thing was that you were happy with your friends at a friends party and I was there too with my friends... happy and enjoying that same friend we have in common.

Let me just ask you this...
I know you are an extremely kind, sensitive (in a good way), carying and respectful person and you treat your friends either guy or girl with the same confidence and joy but...

Do you by any chance... love anyone?

Am I being jealous?

Is that a bad thing?

I mean... I wouldn't be angry and I would actually feel glad for you... maybe I would be sad for myself but happy for you...

But seriously... do... you know what... I ask this same question too often...

just...

forget it...