The Eye of the Storm

Girl (and Guy) Talk

I stormed up the steps to the dormitory, fuming. Part of me felt guilty, then I was mad at myself for feeling guilty, then I was angry at my friends for making me feel guilty, then I was angry with myself for upsetting my friends, and the cycle repeated itself.

I threw open the door to the dormitory, and saw Lav, Jazz and Cho gossiping on a bed. They all gasped when they saw me. Before they could hug me, I grabbed the pillow off my bed and screamed into it. It was the only thing I knew besides punching something to end the cycle of thoughts in my head.

"Kendra," exclaimed Lav. She pulled me towards her, as Jazz pulled away the pillow and placed it back in my bed.

"What's wrong?" asked Cho, walking over. Jazz usually let her in when the group had girl talks. I hadn't had time to participate in any recently.

I clenched my fists, glaring at them. "Aren't you going to ask me where I was?"

"Honey," said Jazz, uncurling my fists and leading me over to sit on the bed with them. "You're obviously upset, you can explain everything to us later."

Cho and Lav nodded in agreement.

"Now tell us," began Lav. "What's bothering you."

I paused for a moment. I couldn't tell them about the fight with Ron and the Gang, without explaining everything about SHIELD. What could I say to explain my anger?

"My boyfriend in America died." Suddenly I started sobbing. Then they were all cooing over me, especially Cho. She pulled me into a tight hug, and wouldn't let me go.

"It's okay to cry," she said, suddenly empathetic. "I know it's hard."

"I just—" I choked on a sob—"I just loved him so much—and now he's gone."

Lav and Jazz joined the hug, and now we were all in a hug pile on the bed, tangled together. All these emotions I had kept bottled up out of necessity, and now they came tumbling out.

"He's just gone, and I will never see him again."

"Do you have any pictures?" inquired Jazz.

I shook my head. Lav shot her a glare, that clearly read you're not helping. I continued to sob, and buried my face in Cho's robes.

"Do you just want to cry?" asked Cho kindly. So I just cried, for who knows how long, while they crowded my with hugs. After a while, my sons quieted, and I started at the ceiling.

"What was he like?" asked Lav softly.

"He was rebellious, always fought for what he believed was right. He had a great sense of humor, and was surprisingly kind." I smiled at the memory. "He would never admit it, but he was such a dreamer, always talking about how the world was going to be one day."

"Why did you never talk about him?" asked Jazz.

"Well, I only started dating him last summer, after Draco and I broke up. Besides with Voldemort back, I didn't think it was wise to make it public that I had a muggle boyfriend."

They all nodded in understanding.

"Is that why you were gone for so long?" Cho asked.

"Yeah." I looked up at them. "Please don't tell anyone. I don't need the whole school asking me about my dead boyfriend."

"You have our word," said Cho, glaring at the rest of the girls making sure they agreed. We stayed like that for a while, and eventually I started to feel.... better? I didn't feel "better", I felt—bearable.

"Do you want some alone time?" asked Jazz finally. I didn't necessarily want alone time, but I knew I needed it.

"Yeah," I replied.

We untangled ourselves, and they all left. I stared up at the ceiling, thinking. A ring filled the room, and I jumped up on instinct. My eyes darted around, looking for the sound. My eyes landed on my phone. It was sitting on bedside table. I grabbed my phone and sank into my bed. There was only one group of people who

"Hello," said a male voice on the other end.

My breath hitched. "Coulson? Has everything settled down."

There was a lengthy pause. "Sort of, but you some things are still being sorted out."

"Should I come help?"

"No," Coulson said quickly. "It's all diplomatic stuff. Also, you are in school right now. I don't need to pull you away from that."

"Oh..."

"But I thought we needed to talk about what happened."

This was the only time I ever heard the phrase "We need to talk" and knew it wasn't something bad.

"Yeah, we should."

After a pregnant pause, I realized neither of us knew where to start.

"I thought you liked May," I said finally.

A heavy sigh was distorted as it filtered through the speaker. "Let's not go there."

"Can we sort of go there? Because I know you stopped dating that cellist like three years ago. So why was she... my mom?"

The last two words felt traitorous on my tongue. But a little part of me missed Audrey.

"Kendra, in the framework we were all slightly different people, shaped by our different life experiences. The AI has been programmed to change in regret for each person. It seems ours was the same."

"Do you still not want to be a part of SHIELD?" I mumbled.

"I was questioning my decision to join. Now, I am starting to be happy I did."

We sat with that for a moment.

"Kendra, you know you don't have to be an Agent of SHIELD if you don't want to."

My heart stopped for a quick second, my mouth opening and closing. What did this mean? This seemed like an out. Did I want an out? Who would I leave behind if I did?

"I think," I began, chewing on my answer. "My regret was that I joined in the first place. Now, SHEILD is a part of me. I couldn't just leave half the people I know. I couldn't just leave my family. But part of me liked who I was in the framework."

"I feel the same way," responded Coulson.

"I kind of liked having you as my dad," I confessed. "I still love my parents but..."

"You will always be the daughter I never had," said Coulson. A door slammed shut in the background and somebody yelled something.

"I have to go. I love you."

"I love you too," I said, the hung up the phone. I had told Coulson I loved him before, but this time it felt different. Maybe this time we both knew what it meant to each other.

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Hey Everyone, so there are many reasons I took so long to update. I deleted all my social media during the weeks leading up to finals is the main one. I also had a play in the middle of finals week, and five choir performances throughout the month of December. Brother came home for Christmas, and I have been working on my own book of poetry. Thank you all for understanding. Also I have sort of been stalling until Captain Marvel and Endgame come out, so that I don't mess up the time line.

Forever and Always,

Me.