Caramel Popcorn

Tomato 01/14/19

Dear Tomato Mafia,

Saturday was amazing! I didn't do much but play a few board games with Nina and Carmen while James watched, but it was still fun.

School today was cool too, I guess. We had a few guest speakers come in for colleges so that was nice.

My mom has been getting worse though. I just hope she lives long enough to meet Carmen. If I and Carmen even get together. That's a work in progress. Nina has been working hard to make it happen, but so far all I get is walks to and from her place and occasional small talk. Better than nothing I suppose.

LOL- Spence

I head downstairs and start making dinner for Mom. She's still in bed though it's just about 7 PM. I quickly make spaghetti and give it to her before heading out to find something for myself. I settle for McDonald's. Once I get the food I drive around to avoid going back. Just as I'm turning onto the main street downtown, I see a very familiar figure. I slow down to make sure it's not her. A small squeak escapes me when I realize it is!

I roll down my window and watch as she comes up to the car. Her body is exposed in nothing but a low cut bra and very small shorts. "Hey, babe. What'll it be?" Her voice is low and husky.

"Get the fuck in the car, Carmen!" I never curse out loud, but this is terrifying.

"Spencer?! What the hell?" She steps back, startled.

"You're asking me?! What are you doing out here? Get in it's freezing!"

She shakes her head but complies. The door opens and a blast of cold air fills the car. I pull off heading nowhere in particular. I take off my coat and hand it to her. She covers herself and faces the window. I can't read her expression, but I can feel the tense atmosphere. We don't say anything for a while. Eventually, she breaks the silence in a low voice. I have to lean closer to hear her, "Don't tell the kids."

I nod, understanding that statement. Like I was gonna tell anyway. "Why?"

I hear her breathe in. "How the fuck else am I gonna support them?! I'm already working two jobs that pay me shit!"

I don't shout at her. She has a right to be angry or scared or whatever she is. "I'm not judging you. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"What are you gonna do? White privilege me a job or a home?" This is the first time she's ever brought up race. She seems to realize this but doesn't correct herself.

"I don't have that. All I have is moral support and the internet. I can help you look for a job. A better one," I don't dare offer to help her pay for anything after that comment. She might take it the wrong way.

She doesn't say anything for a few streets. After a few more minutes of silence, she huffs. "What were you doing out at 1 AM on a school night anyway?"

I shrug. Should I tell her? Fuck it. I just caught her doing something you only see in movies, I might as well tell her. "I had to get away for a night."

"From what?"

"My mom is dying and I'm taking care of her. She doesn't have long," my hands tighten on the wheel. Saying it out loud makes it more real than I'd like right now.

"Cancer?"

"AIDs."

"Oh," I appreciate her not saying 'I'm sorry.' "My grandmother died of cancer. That's why I'm supporting them."

I nod. "My dad died recently. He gave it to my mom."

To my surprise, she chuckles. "Karma."

"Carman."

It takes her a moment to get it before she laughs. When it dies down she turns to me finally. "Thank you for finding me. I don't think I could've made it."

"Promise me something."

"Yeah?"

"Don't go back. Ever."

"You got it, babe. Take me home."