Tomato 02/01/19

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Dear Tomato Mafia,

It's Friday and I'm ready to go home. Or to Carmen's house. I have to go see my Mom though. I'm not ready for that. Last time I went she was hooked up to all sorts of machines and I broke down before I could even go in the room. I might ask Car to go with me. I need moral support.

LOL- Spence

Carmen meets me at the door as I leave school. I fall into step beside her, walking to my car. I fidget with my hair as I gather the courage to ask, "Would you mind- Er- I have to go see my mom today."

She nods. "I know. I'll leave the door unlocked for you."

I stop just outside the driver door. "I wanted to know if- I mean I know you have siblings and all. I don't want to-"

Her smile is genuine, "Say it."

"Can you come with me?"

"Isn't your mom crazy?"

"I think she's too sick to be all high and mighty," I silently plead her.

"Sure. I need to stop back home to make sure Nina knows," she gets in the passenger side.

She still won't let me drive her to school, but she lets me drive her back. I nod and hop in, starting the car and pulling off. When we get there I stay in the vehicle to keep it warm until she comes back out. I wait for her to get back in before heading to the hospital. "Ready?" I put the car in park and turn it off.

"I guess. Are you ready?"

"No," I get out and lead her to the office where I have to sign both of us in. They threw a fit until I told them she's my third cousin. I stop outside Mom's room, looking in to see her still hooked up. A sudden sob forces me to cover my mouth and take a step back. Tears burn my eyes without falling. Carmen takes my shoulders and turns me into her chest to hug me. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Take your time, Spencer," she rubs my back and soothes me until I can finally breathe easy. I realize for the first time she's used my first name. "Ready?"

I nod, putting on a brave smile. I open the door and greet the old woman. "Hi, mom, this is Carmen. She's a friend from school." I don't mention staying in her house just in case she flips out.

My mom is about to greet her when her eyes widen in anger. "What the hell is this, Spencer Joell Carson?! I'm sick and dying and you bring this into my hospital room?"

I turn to Carmen, confused. "What do you mean?"

The frail figure in the bed sits up, finding strength in her fury. "I sent you to a predominately white school to have you make white friends. What is this?! You disrespect me and your lazy twat of a father!"

I shake my head, not understanding where this is coming from. I always knew she had a thing for white people, but I didn't think it was for racial reasons. Before I can speak, Carmen steps forward. "Excuse me ma'am, but I have a voice I intend to use. Your daughter has been safe under the care of me and my siblings. If you have a problem with your daughter being safe, then please, continue."

She turns red, "Spencer, you've been staying with them? What is wrong with you? What did I do wrong?"

"Don't get me started on that! You're delusional if you think I'll grow up to be like you; getting drunk whenever, smoking, letting your husband cheat then bring back AIDs, throwing your whole childhood away just to marry four different times, should I go on?"

Carmen grabs my hand, pulling me back to stop me from saying anything else. "Let's go."

"Don't walk away now! Come back here, young lady!"

I leave the room with Carmen following. She takes the lead as always and ushers me to the nearest bathroom. "Sit." She points to a small table and chair settled in a corner.

As soon as I sit my whole body gives up and I start crying hysterically. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I-" a sob stops me from continuing.

She kneels in front of me, "Hey. It's alright. I know that's not you. It's not your fault."

I hide my face and try to calm down. "I want to sleep."

She chuckles, taking my hand away from my eyes to hold it in her lap. "Let's go home, babe."

I nod, standing. She leads me out, taking my keys to drive. "I didn't know you knew how." She starts the way home.

"I don't have a car doesn't mean I don't know how," she takes my hand and holds it between us. "You okay?"

"Yeah. For now. Thank you for understanding."

"I may not talk to you a lot, but I know you, Carson. If you were like her, you wouldn't have let me talk to you that first day."

I nod. She parks along the curb perfectly and gets out. I follow her into the house, thankful that the kids are sleeping already. I check the time and yawn, 10:48. "I'm going to sleep."

"Okay. Wake me if you need anything," she goes to her room while I settle on the couch.

I lay there for about twenty minutes before I sigh and get up to pace the house. After the fifth time passing the couch, I head back to Carmen's room. I enter quietly, hoping she's asleep already. I slide into the warm bed next to her and pull the comforter over both of us.

She turns over and throws an arm over my stomach and pulls me toward her. I curl up against her, loving the warmth. "Couldn't sleep?" Her voice is heavy with sleep.

"No," I use my arm as a pillow. "G'night."

"Mm."

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