Secret Story 9 - Like always

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"Aah..."

The exam results for my teaching qualifications that would determine my fate.

That result that I failed...

"Aargh~..."

I return to my room and collapse down onto my bed.

(I failed the exam.)

(I guess I didn't study enough...)

(Everyone was cheering for me, too...)

I couldn't meet their expectations.

(I'm useless...)

"Ahh..."

(I have no energy left to handle anything.)

I am exhausted in both mind and body.

I just want to go to sleep and forget everything, but...

"Mina..."

In my mind's eye I can see everyone's sad faces.

(I was shocked I didn't pass...)

(But seeing all their faces like that...)

They were really surprised that I fail and I can see a hint of disappointment in their eyes they might not have said anything that would let me down but seeing their faces like that...

(It was much harder seeing my own pain mirrored in their faces...)

I am in shock over failing my exam.

But I hate to think I have made them sad, especially Mina.

"It's decided them."

(I'm going to smile just like I always do and pretend nothing happen...)

So Mina will smile again too.

And to overpower this pain and disappointment.

That night...

(I can't sleep...)

I am still in sad at finding out I failed the exam, and can't sleep a wink.

Then...

It's late at night and surprised to hear a gentle knock on my door.

Hesitant she answers

"Who is it...?"

"It's just me..."

"Mina...?!" (is this the famous night visit?!)

"Um...about the exam..."

He seems to have been worrying about me.

(But I don't want him to see me while I'm feeling down...)

"I've had a big day so I'm really tired...ehehehe."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Oh, okay..."

After a while I hear him go back down the stairs.

(Oh good, I did manage a laugh...)

I will need to be that cheerful for everyone.

"I will be fine."

"Just fine..."

I try to smile as I always do.

But that doesn't stop my nails biting into the palms of my balled up fists.

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