Blondie Wannabe: A Billy Hargrove Fanfic

Not a Dream

This is sort of how I imagine Deb's dad, but feel free to picture him however you like, I just liked this image for the chapter. Happy reading!

Steve wasn't here when I got home, but I forced myself not to worry where he went; he's a big boy, he can take care of himself. 

"Mom!" I called, hungry and not wanting to cook for myself. Call me whatever you want, sometimes I liked to be taken care of. 

The only time I really got along with my mother was when I had the flu. She'd pick me up Gatorade and make mac and cheese with breadcrumbs and sweet, peach tea with a bendy straw. If I'd been born a sickly child, perpetually in a bed with a fever or the sniffles, I'd probably have had a much more pleasant childhood.

But instead of getting Mom to respond, I got Dad. "Deborah? Come into my office, Princess."

Uh oh, he busted out the P-word, that meant nothing but trouble. I trudged across the living room to the open door of the office, the smell of lemon pledge hitting me square in the face. "Did you need something, Dad?" I asked.

"Do you know where your brother is?" His face was calm, mouth a flat line, eyes placid, blue lakes- not a scrap of guilt to be found. 

"Basketball practice, I think," I said, omitting the crying episode to protect Steve from our father's judgemental nature.

"Oh, he said he'd be coming home earlier than usual, that the roster was being posted?" He titled his head in faux innocence, but I stood my ground with forced casualness. My brother could try and run me over a hundred times, I would never betray him to our father, never, especially not after he'd opened up to me. "Well, it's fine, but don't leave, I have something else important to discuss with you." 

When he didn't elaborate, tapping away on his PC, I asked, "What is it?"

He looked up as though I'd just barged in on him, and he was deciding he could make time in his busy schedule for me; everything was a power play. "Sit down," he said, gesturing to the seat in front of him. "Do you have any friends you'd want to bring to the ski lodge this Christmas?" he asked.

I didn't think about it for very long. Other than Sal and Daisy Mueller, I hadn't even spoken to a single person not in high school. It was weird to think about it like that, considering I'd been home for about a month now, but where would I go? To Deila's? That's where I found Billy. Where else was there? There were only so many places to eat or shop, and you wouldn't really go there unless you already had companions. Hawkins was the kind of town you live in your whole life and have the same friends from middle school to adulthood, going out with other moms for brunch on the weekends. 

"No, I don't have anybody."

"Neither does your brother, not since he broke up with Nancy," he said with a sigh. "We'll have so much extra space; it'd be a waste not to use it..." He trailed off, rubbing his chin contemplatively. "I know we've never done this before, but how do you feel about inviting that family from work? The Hargroves."

The urge to pinch myself was hard to resist. If Dad asked me before this afternoon, I would've jumped for joy, but presently, I felt conflicted. Having time with him in that lodge could be a romantic bonding experience, but did I even want that after how he treated my brother? I knew my own opinion too little to even acknowledge it to myself, let alone figure out how to manipulate my father into complying with it, so I shrugged. "If you think it's a good idea."

"Thank you, Princess, I'll call them now." 

He shooed me out of the room, and I left in a haze. Had I betrayed Steve? Had I screwed myself? I couldn't get through this sober. But I didn't want alcohol- didn't want the spins and nausea and social nature of it- no, this guilt and self-doubt was a job for Vicodin.