Que Sera Sera

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The next day, while peeing what felt like sulfuric acid, I internally cursed myself for waiting so damn long to pee after hooking up with Billy. I thought, because we didn't have actual sex, it didn't matter, but, in a sober mind, I realized vigorous fingering with more than two digits probably had a similar effect.

"I'm not going into to work today," Sal informed me as he tucked my blankets up to my chin.

"Please don't do that," I said, adjusting the hot water bottle on my lower abdomen. "It's just a UTI, it's not like I'm dying."

"If this doesn't get better by tomorrow, we have to take you to the doctor for antibiotics."

"No, no pills, just give me more cranberry juice."

I couldn't stomach the idea of getting medication Mr. Hargrove's company produced. Even if there was only a slim chance money would go directly into his pocket, I needed to avoid it. I'd never met someone I considered evil before, but hiking up the price of AIDs medication to hurt gay people made my blood boil. The look on Billy's face when his dad referred to him as a faggot replayed over and over in my head.

Sal stroked my hair, breaking me out of my reverie. "I know you feel guilty for taking your mom's pills, but antibiotics are a completely different story- you need them if you want to protect you kidneys from damage."

Oh, Sal, you think you know me, but really, you don't have a clue.




By tomorrow, my pain still hadn't passed, I got up every three minutes to pee half a milliliter of liquid fire, so Sal stuffed me in the passanger seat of his car and drove me to the OBGYN.

In the waiting room, an older woman leaned in and whispered to me, "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend who comes to these appointments with you; my husband would never."

I nodded, swallowing the guilt in my throat. Not only had I broken my promise to not take any more drugs, but I'd also cheated on him with Billy. And as much as I wanted to blame the Codeine for my actions, I knew I'd have done the same thing sober. His body, his voice, his effortless- if egotistical- charm called to me like a siren, leaving me helpless to resist.

After four days of taking care of me diligently, Sal needed to return to work or risk losing his job. He kissed me tenderly, reminded me to take my antibiotics and guzzle cranberry juice, before tucking me in one last time.

I tried to go to sleep, the best way to avoid the constant need to urinate and the stabbing pain in my lower stomach, but my door swinging open ruined my attempt.

"There's a call for you," Mom said.

"Who from?" I asked, sitting up.

She shrugged. "I didn't ask."

With a grunt, I pushed myself out of bed, throwing on a robe before limping down the stairs, my bladder aching every step of the way. "Hello, Deborah Harrington speaking."

"Hello Miss Harrington, this is Principal Panch."

"Oh, hello sir, I'm sorry I've been missing so much work, but I did call and let Mrs. Mueller know, and I'll be back very soon-"

"It's not about that, Deborah." He covered the mouthpiece, saying something to someone in the room with him. "We're going to need to you come in, preferably before school let's out. Does noon sound good?"

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