Blondie Wannabe: A Billy Hargrove Fanfic

He's Still a Monster

I drove to Billy's house with my legs squeezed together, as though I was attempting to pinch a mint between my knees. Multiple times, I nearly pulled over to free myself of the ache of orgasm denial, but I took his threat seriously, waiting for his fingers- or perhaps his cock- to do it for me.

Billy's blue Camaro wasn't in his driveway when I arrived, so I bounced my knee, listening to one of my mixtapes till he rapped on my window, gesturing me for me to join him.

"Took you long enough," I snapped, not bothering to zip my coat as we hurried to his front door.

"Sorry, I had to dump my date on Tommy and Carol. She wasn't pleased."

I rolled my eyes, tapping my foot impatiently while he jiggled his key in the rusty lock. "You're a jackass sometimes."

He merely chuckled, kicking the door open and grabbing me by the waist, pulling me in after him. "Yeah, I know I am," he said, squeezing my ass firmly while he trailed kisses along my jaw, nibbling on my earlobe. "But you love me anyway."

"Alright, easy with that word."

"What word?"

Snarling, I gripped his collar, my nose brushing his. "You know- L-O-V-"

"What are you doing here?" Max's shout made our heads whip around, and I hurriedly shoved Billy's chest, separating us, but not soon enough. "After everything you've done, you're back here again? For him?"

"Max, I can explain-"

"Don't bother." Tears sprung to her cerulean eyes, which she attempted to brush away, but they kept spilling down her cheeks. "I bet that's the only reason you pretended to care about me, to get closer to him."

I tried to respond, to explain that all those times I took her to the arcade, watched her skateboard around my cul de sac, were because I thought of her as a little sister, not because of my relationship with Billy, but her stepbrother cut in before I had the chance.

"Go to your room, Max," he growled, pointing to the staircase. "Now."

"No, you can't make me!"

"You little shit."

"Relax, Billy." I put a restraining hand on his shoulder, but he shook it off, eyes wide with rage.

He took a menacing step back towards Max, who backed up slightly, but didn't give in to his posturing. "Do as you're told- before you make me really angry."

She clenched her fists into tiny white balls at her side. "Fuck off!"

In a flash, he grabbed her by her narrow shoulders, shoving her so hard she slammed into the wall before collapsing to the floor, gasping for breath. She looked like a drowned cat pulled from the river by the odd, still way she lay on the ground, the only thing moving was her ribcage and it struggled to take in and expel oxygen properly.

I raced to her side, but Billy snatched my wrist, yanking me away. "Leave her be; she got what she deserved."

Looking up at him, I saw, for the first time, the monster Steve described to me on my first day back in Hawkins. This man beat my brother's face till he needed stitches, flung his own stepsister into a wall so hard, she might've broken a bone; it would only be a matter of time before he turned that kind of violence on me. Sal was sweet as condensed milk, but unsatisfying. Billy was strong and fiery as a good Tennesee whiskey, burning as I swallowed him down, but he went straight to my head. Eventually, he'd kill me. I wouldn't- couldn't settle for one or the other. More importantly, I couldn't leave Max alone with him; between Neil and Billy, she wouldn't survive, not with her mental health intact.

My upper lip pulled back from my teeth, making Billy visibly recoil from my vitriol. "You don't get to tell me what to do." I pushed Max's hair from her face, feeling her side tentatively. Once I decided her ribs weren't broken- only bruised- I lifted her off the floor. "She's coming home with me. If her mother asks, she's staying over at a friend's house."

"Deborah, wait." He didn't dare grab for me again but attempted to stop me from leaving. "You can't just go."

"Let's get one thing straight, asshole, I can do whatever the fuck I want."

When we got home, Max was able to walk, but she whimpered with every step. The adrenaline rush from what I'd just done still lingered in my blood, making my brain fuzzy.

"Sit down, please, make yourself comfortable."

She groaned, kicking off her sneakers. "Stop being nice to me; I'm still angry at you."

"You can hate me all you want, I'll always take care of you."

"I didn't say I hated you," she mumbled, flopping back on my bed. "Just that I'm angry with you."

That small distinction made my chest buzz with warm happiness, but I pushed it down; I still had matters to attend to. Grabbing a set of my smallest pajamas, I set them beside her, as well as a spare toothbrush and rubberband if she wanted to pull her hair back. Then I crept into my parent's room, only my mother inside and already asleep, conked out on painkillers. Dad must still be in his study, figuring out how to market various drugs and beauty supplies to an unsuspecting public.

In the master bath, I slid open the mirrored cabinet, unscrewing the bottle of Vicodin and dumping a half dozen into my hand, pocketing them. I flicked off the light before slipping back out, silent as a shadow.

"Here," I said, giving Max half a pill, cut clean down the middle with a blade from a clean safety razor. "Take this with plenty of water, it'll help with the pain."

"Is this one of Neil's?"

"No, it's my mom's."

She nodded, swallowing it with a long drink from the glass I handed her. "I don't like taking drugs from my stepfather. I hate him."

"I hate him too."

"And I hate Billy." She watched me skeptically as I hesitated, mouth opening and closing like a codfish. "I see, you're still in love with him."

Sighing, I sat down beside her, tucking my blankets up to her chin. "I understand why you hate him, I'd feel the same if I had to grow up with him for a brother, but I- I still have a lot of confusing emotions. But none of my sentiments will ever, ever get in the way of me protecting you. Capeesh?" She nodded once, eyes going shiny. "If you're still in pain, I'll be right downstairs, I can give you another half."

After flicking off the lights, I closed the door behind me, taking each step slowly and carefully until I reached the living room, standing there, equidistant from my father's study and the kitchen for a moment before finally plopping down on the couch. 

Feeling around in my coat pockets, I realized I still had my Sprite, as well as my Quaaludes. I gave Max a few minutes in case she needed me, before popping two under my tongue and washing it down with warm, lemon-lime soda. 

I watched the colors of various sitcoms until all that was left playing in the dead of night was CNN, so I switched to various VHSes, eventually drifting off to sleep.

Oof, this section actually hurt to write. Thank you to everyone who's been reading, if you enjoyed this chapter, please feel free to vote and leave a comment, constructive criticism is always welcome, sorry if I don't say that enough. And if you haven't already checked out 'The Monster Within', please do. I've been having some really frustrating technical difficulties when it comes to editing, so the second and third chapters are basically first drafts because all my corrections got erased, but I promise I'll fix them up as soon as I can, and a new chapter should be out shortly!!! :)