Roommates

Chapter 9

"What's wrong?" Jane spun around in her office chair as I laid on her sofa. Sunlight spewed through between the blinds behind her. After working at another literary agency for nine years, she finally made the decision to form her own agency. She had a small office located a few blocks away from my apartment. It was one of the reasons why I decided to get a place nearby. 

"I'm getting all these weird feelings about Hannah," I said.

"What kind of feelings?" Jane stopped moving her chair and placed her hands under her chin as she leaned forward on her desk.

"I don't know like I get so nervous around her and my heart kept beating rapidly," I explained.

"Do you like her?" Jane's eyes flashed with excitement.

"I...I do not. She's just tolerable." I, Cara Lee do not like people in any sort of way. They were either tolerable or intolerable to me.

"Then why are you feeling those ways?"

"Because I don't like being too close to someone. That's the only possible explanation."

'How close are we talking about," Jane asked as a small smirk formed on her lips. 

"Nothing like the way you're thinking," I said in disgust. "She was just helping me stretch."

"You let someone help you stretch?" Jane clapped her hands together. " I never thought I would hear those words come out of your mouth."

"Me too." I sat up and took a deep breath. Why did I let her do that? I don't like it when anyone touches me.

"Why did your heart beat rapidly?" Jane's expression was finally serious.

"Probably because I was scared that we were too close."

"Was the stretching part the only time you felt your heart race?"

"Yes...I don't know. This is just so confusing." I took my hood off and smoothed out my hair. "I... I slept with her."

Jane's jaw almost hit the floor and she stared at me with shocked eyes. "Uh say again?"

"You know sleeping in the same bed," I explained. 

"Were you drunk?" Jane shook her head in disbelief. 

"No, I rarely drink," I said. "I was just sick and when I woke up I had my arms around her." 

"Just wow, oh wow." Jane continued to shake her head.  "Have you ever had a crush, Cara?"

"Like a school girl crush?" I don't think I've had. I remember in elementary when this girl that I thought was my friend kept pressuring me to tell her if I had a crush on someone and I just randomly picked some boy in our class.  I made her promise me that she wouldn't tell anyone. It was one of the worst mistakes of my life. The girl told her friend and the friend told everyone in our class. Everyone made fun of me and the boy I chose to have a crush on, avoided me like the plague. I wonder if that is where my trust issues came from.

"Yes or maybe a crush on a celebrity," Jane suggested.

"Hmmm, I had one earlier in the year," I said after some thought. "I don't know if it is an actual crush."

"Who is it?"

"It was this Swedish singer. I loved the way she wrote her music because I could relate to it," I answered. "I was infatuated with her for a few months and I kept listening to her music and following her on social media."

"Her?" Jane quirked her eyebrow.

"Yeah.....ohhhhh." I got up from my seat and started pacing back and forth. "That never occurred to me before. Oh wow, I had a crush on a girl?"