Roommates

Chapter 41

Cara's P.O.V.

There was no place like home. I know I've mentioned this many times before, but I just can't seem to learn. Don't leave your apartment!  I don't think I ever want to leave ever again especially after last what happened. I took a long shower to clean myself and I am thankful that I bought that expensive steam clothing care system for my suit. It was the only thing keeping me from throwing away all of my clothes from last night. I was physically and emotionally spent.  All I could do was lay in my bed and hope that everything that happened was one bad nightmare.

Nothing could help me sleep. All I could think about was my parents. How would I respond to them? I couldn't avoid them forever. The thought of moving to a faraway planet was appealing to me, although it felt too unrealistic. Maybe another city or state, but then I hated the idea of moving all my things and starting over. When I first moved to New York City I was afraid and wary of everything. I didn't leave my apartment for months. I ordered everything online. If it weren't for Jane, I wouldn't have ever left my apartment at all. Being away from my parents, was the first time I felt like an actual adult.

As an adult, I had to be able to make my own choices and whatever choice that maybe, I had to live with them. Whatever the consequences. Even at twenty-five,  oh my gosh, I am twenty-five. I am a quarter of a century old. I am freaking old. Okay, Cara don't start scaring yourself even more now. Even at my age, my parents still made me feel like a child. I couldn't help reverting back to the old Cara and who wanted their permission.

I made the choice to send that awful text to the group chat and now I have to live with it. Apart of me wanted to just keel over and die. That way I wouldn't have to deal with my parents and explaining everything. I would be such a cowardly way to do handle it. Hannah was a big reason why I could not do that. I could not risk losing her. 

A knock broke me out of my thoughts and I slowly got up from my bed. "Come in."

Hannah slowly opened the door. "Are you alright?" In her hands was a cup. She slowly approached me.

"I don't know, my head is all over the place right now."

"I made you some tea." Hannah handed me the cup as she watched me with worried eyes.

"Thank you." I inhaled the rich scent of the oolong before taking a generous sip.

"I heard you crying while you were in the shower," Hannah said slowly.

I did my best to not choke on the tea and placed it down on the nightstand. "What?"

"Cara, it's okay to cry," Hannah stated.

I hated crying and I hated it even more when someone knew I was crying.  I didn't know what to say and all I could do was avert my gaze. 

"Cara," Hannah said softly as she tilted my face toward her. "It's okay." She wrapped me in her arms and I just melted into her. I laid my head on her shoulder, too exhausted to cry anymore.

"My parents know," I whispered.

"That's what Amanda meant when she said you outed yourself," Hannah replied.

"Yeah," I answered monotonously. "Alcohol made me bold and angry. I thought I was sending something to Luna, but it was actually our family group chat."

"I'm sorry." Hannah gently stroked my hair back.

"If waking up in Kelsey's bed didn't scare me enough, realizing I sent that text was just as worst," I stated. I thought back to the space between Zara and me and it made me realize that Kelsey was between us. I felt myself shudder. I was between Amanda and Kelsey, what a freaking nightmare. It made me hold on to Hannah even tighter.