Roommates

Chapter 43

Cara's P.O.V.

This was the moment that I've been dreading for what felt like forever. It was the moment where the life that I previously knew as Cara Lee, the obedient daughter would end. Each ring from the phone was blocked out by the sound of my rapidly beating heart. It was so loud that it felt like it pounding against my eardrum. It only subsided when I heard my mom's voice.

"Hello?"

My heart felt like it was being squeezed when I heard her. It sounded like she was grieving.

"Umma." Hearing her voice, made me feel like a child again. It made me want to apologize to her even though I knew I haven't done anything wrong.

"Are you..."

"It's..." I placed my hand over my heart in hopes that I could stop the relentless pounding because my chest was taking a beating. "Complicated."

"Don't tell me that! Luna says you are dating a woman!" She shouted back at me in Korean. Typical mom. She could go from one emotion to the next in an instant.

"It's true. I met someone and I fell in love." I tried my best to calmly explain. "The person is...a woman."

"Then you are the gay!" She switched back to English. Her tone was brutal and judgemental like she was the prosecutor and I was the criminal.

"I didn't expect this to happen," I defended. "It just did and I have never been this happy."

"No, no, no, you are not," Mom stated again in English. "You must change. You have to see doctor."

I could feel a lump form in my throat. Tears were fighting to come out. "Even if I wanted to, I can't and I... won't."

"I didn't give birth to you for you to be this way," Mom said in Korean.

"You can't choose how I get to be." My throat felt tight and it became even harder to speak as I tried to keep my voice from shaking.

"This is wrong Cara. This is an embarrassment to our family," Mom continued the assault. "You should have never moved to New York. It ruined you."

I was trembling now and I could not contain the tears any longer. I couldn't contain the anger that has built up inside me. "You are wrong. I became better. I became myself. When I was around you, all I pretended to be was what you wanted."

Mom let out a gasp. There was the switching of hands as she called out to my dad. "Speak to your daughter!"

Dad cleared his throat. There was a moment of silence before he finally spoke in Korean."Cara, I don't like this. I don't want this to happen, but it is your choice."

"What!" Mom screamed so loud in the background that I had to move my phone away from my ear.

"As your parents, we can tell you what we want, but in the end, it is your life and it is how you want to live. We may not like it, but we can't do anything about it," Dad continued calmly.

"If she was a boy then you would have cared," Mom ranted in the background.

Dad sighed into the phone. "Did you find a good person?"

"Yes." The answer was automatic to me.

"Then live your life," Dad stated.

"Thank you, Appa." Tears streamed across my face and I didn't care.

"Goodbye...Cara." Dad ended the call as mom started to wail.

I was numb with shock. Why did that goodbye sound like goodbye forever? My phone just fell out of my hands and onto the desk. I did expect my mom to have the reaction that she did. My dad was a surprise. How could a man that said some of the most homophobic things in the past be so completely calm about his daughter coming out? My mind was blown. Did he changed that much over the years or was it because I was his daughter? For a few moments I sat there, tears pooling around my eyes as I silently sobbed until I could cry no more.