Pieces of Me

Thirteenth Piece

I'm happy. There's a big piece of me that is happy right now. And I know that I have only one person to thank for it; Matty.

He's my night and shining armor. Someone that I thought Marcos was, but at the end of it, he only wanted to sell me out. I never thought that Marcos would ever do that to me.

But I should have known that there is very little that this man wouldn't do. He has beaten me, made me suffer, put me out of the streets, and tried to sell me.

I can't believe I ever trusted him with my life.

I can't believe I ever loved him, or the fact that I still love him.

He wasn't my first love, but he was my only love for a while. And at first he made me feel as if I was the only girl in the world. He made me feel beautiful, wanted, and appreciated. Something that Matty stopped making me feel.

Marcos wasn't alway bad. We started off fine, and I wanted forever with him. And I think that's why I still hold on to him.

I miss him.

And I want to see him, but then when I think about what he tried to do to me, it makes me hate him all over again. Matty doesn't know that I miss him, he probably doesn't even know that I love him in the way that I do.

I don't want to tell him.

I let out a deep sigh and stuck out my bottom lip.

Matty looked over at me, looking up from his paperwork. "What's the matter?"

He has been here with me all week, everyday and all day, trying to make sure that I get through this. Somehow, he took a whole week off of work and brought all of it here, so he could look over me. And when he has to leave, he calls over Jacob to come and babysit.

I mean, I love Matty but it's been entire seven days since I have stepped foot out of this apartment and I'm going a bit stir crazy.

Matty doesn't want me to go outside, he doesn't want me to get recognized by anyone and end up back with Marcos.

"Can we just go for a walk?" I asked him.

Matty sat his paperwork on his lap. We were sitting in the den area, watching TV. Well, I watched TV, Matty just did his work. Apparently, he has a big meeting next week and he needs to have his presentation all set and ready.

He looked at me and I looked at him. He wanted to say no, but I could tell that he was gonna say yes. "Fine." Matty rolled his eyes playful. "Since you have been doing so well, a little outing wouldn't hurt."

I have been doing good. It's been an entire week and one day since I have had any alcohol or drugs.

I realized that when I stopped doing heroin that I have to cut everything else off too. But I don't feel the need to do it, the need only really happens when I get anxious and start going through a withdrawal.

My withdrawals only got worse after my first one, they began to subside as the days went on. I have a lot of trouble sleep at night, and sometimes I get really bad stomach pain, and nausea. But most days are good instead of bad, especially since I got Matty to help me through it.

"Yay!" I cheered, hopping up from the couch to head to my room. "Thank you, thank you!"

Matty chuckled at me.

I dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of light washed skinny jeans, a black hoodie, and my new furry boots that Matty bought me. I told him the other day that I've always wanted a pair of fur boots, the next day he came back with them.