Pieces of Me

Twentieth Piece

I awaken, groggy and unhappy. I laid in bed for a while before looking at the clock to learn that it was actually four o'clock in the morning.

My head was hurting from crying myself to sleep.

I definitely shouldn't have done that...

I was just so fucking hurt by Matty. How could he ever think that I would be okay with Jennifer being pregnant with his kid? On what planet would anyone be okay with that?

Now, I can understand if the kid was already born, but she just learned that she's pregnant. I don't want to share Matty with Jennifer.

And Jennifer knew that I wouldn't like the arrangement, she was probably even betting on it. She knew that I would hate it, in fact she knew how I would react.

Matty knew too.

I don't know why he thought that pampering me would make me want to be with him. He has known me since I was young. I didn't have much growing up, I am in no way shape of form a materialistic girl.

Matty's parent are rich. I didn't like going over their house because they had a big house and a nice pool. I spent time with them because I love them, they are my family. And I know that Matty's notions were true, I just can't put myself in that kind of situation with him.

Do I love him? Fuck yes.

Do I want to be with him? Hell yes.

Will I be the mother to his stepchild? Nooo.

Groaning, I rolled over in my bed.

I hate being here now.

I can't help, but feel like there is nothing for me here anymore. This piece of me has died, and wants to break free. The reason for being here was because I loved Matty, Matty loved me and I thought we were going to be together. But we aren't anymore, there is no reason for me to stay within these walls.

It's time for me to go.

I packed a bag with most of my shit, I let a few things out because I couldn't fit it all. And plus, I need to travel light, I don't know exactly where I'm going.

I got dressed; jeans, t-shirt, jacket, and shoes.

Grabbing my bag, I left out of my room. I passed by the living room to see the couch empty and Matty's bedroom door closed.

Thank God, Matty wasn't asleep on the couch. He was out here for most part of the night after Jennifer left.

Unlocking the front door, I prayed to the lock God's for make this door with an auto-lock mechanism. As soon as I stepped out, it was like I was stepping back into my old life. I walked out as Lynn, leaving Anna behind.

Lynn is the person that I know.

She's a drug addict.

She's a prostitute.

She's a pimp's whore.

She's alone.

I bolted out of the building, I had to put as much space as I could between Matty's building and me. I couldn't risk him finding me and catching me, but once I was out of his area, the coast was clear.

I don't need him to try and convince me to comeback, I'd probably run into his arms like nothing ever happened.

I caught a cab back to my side of town. I didn't know who to throw myself back into my old life, but I was going to try. I went right back to the motel that I was staying in with Mandy, the other girls, and Marcos. It had been a long time since I've been back here, and it felt really bizarre.