Under The Cherry Tree~ Phan

9

"Hey Dan?" Dan decided to stay the night last night, it was nice, I liked shareing a bed with him.

"hm..?" He was still half asleep, we were still in bed he nuzzled up to me.

"What are we..." I was scared to ask this... What if we were like... Friends with benefits... Or just friends that.... Sleep together.. or best friends.

"Hm?" He seamed more awake I laughed a bit.

"I said what are we.. like Boy friends.. friends with benefits... Best friends that sleep together... Best friends.. friends?" This was nerve wracking. Wjat was he going to say.

"I don't know... What are we Phil?" Great now I have to think, hm how fun!

"I don't know eather..." Oof this was really Bothering my anxiety.

"I mean.. I guess we're like boyfriends?.. but I don't think we're exactly like that." I nodded. "Wait Phil how are you doing?! Are you okay?!? I just remembered what the fuck happend yesterday" oh god, why did that happen to me!!

"I feel fine.. not the greatest but fine" I was lying I don't think the medicine was working I felt like shit and my heart hurt like hell, it hurt to breathe even.

"Okay that's good, I was worried." You should be Dan, You should be. He hugged me. "do you need anything?! Something to eat? drink?" My stomach hurts too, I don't think eating will help.

"No Dan I'm no that hungry. I'll eat a little later okay? But For now, go home and get some rest okay? You don't need to be worrying so much about me I'm fine!" He had a glint of sadnesses in his eye, I fell almost bad.

"O-okay... But text me okay? Tell me if you need anything!" He was on his way, man I loved him but I didn't want him to see how much pain I'm in, when I stand when I walk.. everything hurts.

I walked over to the bathroom, I needed to visit some of my old friends.. and not the good ones eather... I needed my old best friends Pain killers and Razor blades. I would ever dose the pain killers, and Cut myself till I felt numb all over. So that's what I did.

And I didn't stop until allmost all of my cuts were visible to the eye. All down my legs and all down my arms. I was numb, but it shouldn't be too long till the pain killers I overdosed on kicked in. But until then I took a bath.

I let the warm water flow into my open wounds, and clean it. And I didn't get out until the water was a pinkish reddish color. I got out then continued to clean them once more by alcohol, it stinged, but at least it was clean.

I knew my short sleaved days were over, I didn't want anyone to know that I did this. I laied in my bed and I rolled over, I could smell Dan, how much I loved him. Bit he's probably going to be upset at me. But I'm not worth his time.

I popped in more pain killers and then some Sleeping medicine and hoped I wouldn't wake up.