Under The Cherry Tree~ Phan

11

The next morning came, I was in pain, then again I was in pain. I was wrapped up in Dans arms I liked it.

"Hey, babe... " that was the first time dan has ever called me babe. I liked it, but this proved that he was awake. "You have your doctors appointment, your moms going to take you, I got to go shopping for my aunt remember?"

I sat up. "No, please!! You know she doesn't give a shit! She hates me! She hates that I'm gay she hates me! She just puts up with me so I'm not in the poor house on the side of the road. Homeless." I started to cry. He cradled me in his arms and kissed me.

"Its okay, if it's that big of a deal. I'll take you and then afterwards we'll go together okay?" He kissed my head.

"But I don't want to go back to the hospital"

"You have to, or else you won't get better," I thought about his words.. he was right but I knew it was not worth it.

"Fine."

________________

We were at the hospital. I didn't like it here it scared me. It reminds me of a mental institution. I went there once....it was for hurting myself. My mom walked in on me and bam!! I was sent to an institution.

"Well Phil, it seems the medicine isn't really working and mixing with your body very well." Wow I knew it.

"Doctor is there anything we can do?!" Of course, Dan was being the overprotective boyfriend.

"I knew it, I felt it" they ignored me my head was down and I was looking down at my feet, well I mean this conversation was more important than my dying life and body I see.

"Well Dan there is something we could do but it's very risky. We can up the diagnosis of the medicine. It could help. It could continue to not mix with his body fluids and it could kill him faster. "

Dan had tears in his eyes once again. I knew what he was going to say. I just stared into space thinking of life. I hope the medicine kills me. I'm tired of being in pain. It hurts everything hurts. It hurts to breathe! Why can't everything just end for me? I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker. The pain I'm going through is tremendous.

"L-lets up the diagnoses." The doctor left the room, thank God I hate him.

"I hope this kills me faster than what it already is."

"W-what....?" He had tears in his eyes once more but I didn't care right now.

"The pain I'm dealing with is unbearable, it hurts to walk it hurts to talk it hurts to even fucking breath Dan!"

"I- 'm sorry" he sobbed.

"So hopefully it kills me faster" I was crying, great.

"Or make you better."

"Dan if I get better there's a chance it could come back!! I don't want it to come back!! It hurts I hurt, my head hurts... I want to die I wish I was dead." I put my hands on my head in pain.

"I- I love you.... Philip Michael Lester"

"I love you too, but I'm getting worse." He kissed me and we both cried in silence. We both cried in silence once we got home. I knew my time was limited and I think only now Dan understood too.