My Blood: joshler

Chapter Twenty-Three: Josh // everything goes wrong

Chapter Twenty-Three: Third Person POV

Josh:

Last Christmas,

I gave you my heart

Then the very next day,

You gave it away,

This Christmas...

Josh was happy for the first time in so long. Although the feeling was foreign, he learnt to embrace it in all its beauty.

He and Tyler were slow dancing in his room to Christmas songs. They were okay. Even though Josh had been feeling a little short from Tyler lately, they were okay. And maybe it was sad that they were hiding away in their room on their first month anniversary but it was better than nothing and Tyler had been nothing but supportive, knowing that Josh was still scared and wanted to take it slow - never wanting to risk their parents finding out because his biggest fear was being separated from Tyler.

So there they were.

Tyler humming along to the girl on the speaker and Josh swaying him slowly, his eyes opened and taking in all of Tyler's glory when he blurted it out.

“I love you. I love you so damn much” and of course he thought nothing of it because he thought he said it in his head - and it was true because with Tyler slow dancing there, that dopey smile on his face as he hummed the tune and looked ultimately content with everything he had, Josh thought he was so beautiful and Josh was so fond of his beautiful brother/boyfriend that he had to say it.

He had to think it.

And Tyler was smiling - not thinking this is too soon. Not thinking, he's going to leave me like mom did and I don't know if I can handle that. No, Tyler was smiling because he was thinking...

“I love you too”

Maybe Josh's heart skipped a beat. Maybe he couldn't breathe when he realized the beautiful boy next to him actually loved him back. Actually saw him the same way, and it was so surreal, so high and so perfect that Josh couldn't help but lean in for one of the best kisses he'd had in a long time because this was a new kiss.

This was a love kiss because Tyler loved him.

Noel, Noel

Noel, Noel,

Born is the King of Israel.

What child is this who laid to rest

On Mary's lap is sleeping

Another beautiful Christmas song filled the speaker and Josh couldn't help but twirl Tyler, who let out a giggle, catching him with his arm before bringing him up and going for a chaste kiss.

They were slow dancing again.

“I wanna lay with you all day” Tyler whispered in the crook of Josh's neck.

Then Josh smiled and twirled him again, bringing his hand to Tyler's waist and pulling him closer, nuzzling his nose and kissing his hair.

“What's stopping you” Josh whispered into his hair.

And Tyler pushed him to the bed, laying on top of him and smiling and Josh couldn't help but think Tyler looked beautiful when he smiled so wide that his eyes crinkled.

Tyler kissed him again and it seemed all they did was kiss but it was okay. They were okay because somewhere deep in their minds, they knew they wouldn't have the privilege for ever and it'd been on Josh's mind especially for a long time.

Just the thought of losing Tyler made him pull him in closer. Josh had gone extra miles to make sure they were always safe and it kind of warms Tyler's heart that his boyfriend was looking out for him although it would have been kind of nice to be able to be themselves every where they went but he understood.

“You're so beautiful, Joshua Dun” Tyler breathed out, his breath fanning Josh's neck from where he was on his chest.

“I think you've mistaken me for a mirror, Tyler Joseph” Josh said cheekily, reaching up swiping his tongue over Tyler's cheek.

“Shut up. That should have been cute if you didn't just cover me in your goo” Tyler pouted a bit, squinting his eyes like he always did when he wanted to be cute.

Josh smiled, “What is this? TMNT? It's saliva, Ty and you're exaggerating. Besides, you don't seem to hate my tongue when it's in you”

Tyler turned a crimson red, “Oh my god, Josh! I can't believe you said that”

Josh shrugged with a smile, “There's many more where that came from”

Tyler laughed and hit his chest before leaning his head back on Josh chest and listening to his heart beat.

“I love you so much, Jishwa and I'm so happy to have you”

“Sap” Josh smiled, looking away.

“I'm serious, Josh. I'm so blessed and I'm the luckiest man alive for being able to call you mine” Tyler gushed.

“What would that make me then?” Josh asked and Tyler didn't reply, Josh laid there quietly.

And in those moments they spent together, there were laughs and teases and sneaky kisses that both of them loved and the Christmas music was still playing in the background, and the snow was falling, children were laughing and building snow men and that was when they fell asleep, cradled in each others arms and too scared to let go.

Love is a beautiful thing, for those who believe in it. It has the power to make, break or even destroy you if you give it the power. Love is a machinery created by the mind as an excuse to not be alone but it was okay because man was never really created to be alone and if being together or being lonely together made people happy, then wasn't all that mattered? Their happiness?

Regardless of who or what they love? Shouldn't their happiness be the top priority and they shouldn't be judged for their happiness?

That was what should have mattered but half of the time, things that are supposed to have happened don't and at the end,

Everything goes wrong.

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Happy holidays! I love all my readers, silent and noisy x