Different worlds

Chapter 12

Rachel's jaw dropped. "Are we exclusive Quinn? I never knew that we would have to talk about being exclusive or not... But I guess we do seeing as you've slept with more people then you can remember... Actually you know what? Don't answer that, I can't do this," Rachel started to break down; she went back into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Rachel, open the door... Please let me explain."

"Explain what, Quinn? The fact that you're a slut? Or that you're sorry you can't be exclusive with me because I'm not ready to have sex with you?" Rachel yelled from inside the bathroom.

"Okay, Rachel that was uncalled for!" Quinn said, starting to get pissed off. "You can call me a slut if you want but don't just think that just because you're not ready for sex that I'll go find someone else... Wasn't it just hours ago that I told you I would never push you... And for your information I didn't need to have the exclusive talk with you because I don't want to be with anyone but you!"

Rachel opened the door, tears pouring down her face. "Explain everything."

"Okay... So when I meet Emily she decided straight away that she didn't want to be exclusive and I honestly didn't care about it. I was in a very low place in my life because I wasn't playing softball anymore and having sex with people made me feel numb and helped me not think about the fact that my dreams have been crushed... So I just did it."

"So you had sex to not think about everything?" Rachel said trying to calm down.

Quinn nodded. "Yes... Look I hated myself okay... I got drunk and I slept around, if that makes me a slut than I was a slut... And if you want to dump me because of my past then do it now... I'm not happy with what I did, but I also don't regret doing it... If I didn't do it I might not be here today, Rachel, as in not here in Lima, as in not here on earth," Quinn wasn't crying she just looked really upset.

Rachel went wide eyed realizing how bad Quinn must have been when she stopped playing softball. "I'm not going to break up with, Quinn... I just hate the fact that I found out all that stuff with everyone else."

"I'm sorry for that, it just never came up in conversation before... I don't like talking about my past."

Rachel nodded, "But how do you think it makes me feel... You're so sexually experienced... And what am I? You're my first for basically everything... How can I live up to everything that you have done?" Rachel started to cry as her insecurities came flooding in. Quinn moved closer.

"Can I hug you?" Quinn asked, she didn't want to make Rachel uncomfortable. The brunette looked down and nodded.

"Look I don't want you to live up to everything... Because you're already way above everything I've ever experienced... What I did before, was helping me forget the past and helped me not feel anything because it hurt too much... You make me feel Rachel, you make me want to feel and be a better person, you are making me be the person I was before I lost softball... I'm starting to believe that everything will be okay, and I'm starting to build new dreams... So don't think I'm going to judge you or try and decide if you're better than anyone I've been with because you already are better."

Rachel pulled out of the hug and stared at her girlfriend. "Really?" Rachel asked in a vulnerable voice. "Yes, of course," Quinn said wiping the tears off her girlfriends cheeks.

Rachel leaned over to her girlfriend and kissed said girlfriend on the lips. She then backed away and looked straight into sad hazel eyes. "I have one more question... And please don't take it the wrong way... I don't want you to get upset about this."

Quinn nodded, she started to feel overcome with fear.

"Have you been tested? For you know... STD's?" Rachel was so nervous when she asked the question.