Always, Marinette • adrienette au

letter 3

Dear Alya,

I don't even know where to start. I love you so dearly and I'm so glad that I can call such a beautiful and kind soul my best friend. That's what we are. That's what we always will be.

I wanted more time with you. We said we do so many things together in this life and I'm so sorry that we only got to do some. I know we jammed in as many as we could once we knew the prognosis but that's not the same. I wanted years with you, decades with you! I'm so sorry that the options, the choice and our possibilities were taken from us.

That doesn't mean I want you to ever stop living the way we were supposed to. Find yourself someone who stay up all night just to talk. Find someone who will paint the nails of your left hand because we both know that you can't! I don't ever want you to slow down because of what's happening to me.

Sometimes I feel like I'm dragging you down. I tried so hard to push you away and start a fight just so you would leave before things got bad but you never let me. I love you for that. I didn't want to die alone without my best friend. Thank you for staying with me.

I hope you still decide to go to college. Investigation journalism right? Sometimes it's hard to keep up with you haha! Regardless of what you do I know you will be best in whatever you decide on. That's just who you are. That's the Alya I know!

I want you to be happy. I want you to live. I want you to experience everything I couldn't. I want you to love and be loved. I want you to be yourself. There's so much I want you to do and I'm so glad that you can. There's infinite choices for anyone, you can be whatever you want whenever you want but you chose to be Alya. My fun, loving, adventure seeking best friend. Thanks for going on this adventure with me. I couldn't imagine it with anyone else.

I want you to know a few things before I end this letter. I will always be there with you and I hope you find me in the little things and big things in life. There is light in darkness if you look hard enough. There are people who are willing to be there for you. Please don't isolate yourself when I die. Try your hardest to get out. To talk to people. I know you. I know you are so good at faking being okay. It's okay to not be okay. And just know I love you.

I love you so much and I know eventually we'll see each other again.

Always,
Marinette.