Get to me (8th sin series, book 1)

Better left unsaid

My mother.

She's in the kitchen when I get there.

I come in the door, and I wait until she notices me standing there.

"I didn't even hear you pull up." She dries her hands on a dish towel and looks me over. "You look pale."

I shrug. "I haven't been feeling all that well lately, Mother." And it sounds odd saying it now.

"Do you need to see a doctor?"

I shake my head letting her fuss with my hair. "No, I'm fine. It'll pass."

"Are you hungry?"

I shake my head again and sit down. "How was the anniversary?"

"It was great." She smiles. "Your father and I were very impressed with the dinner and the decorations. You really went all out this year."

I smile back.

"Ben says Jackson helped out too."

"Yeah. He's been very helpful lately," I say. "Mom, have you always been in love with my dad?"

I spot a slight wrinkle in her brows. "Of course. Why do you ask that?"

"I'm just curious. You never know when you need to know these things." I tap my fingers on the table. "Maybe one day I'll fall in love and get married and have two wonderful kids just like you and dad."

She nods. "It's very possible. Is that what you want?"

This is the psychologist in her coming through, but I go along with it. "Of course that's what I want. Everyone wants to be happy."

"Do you think it'll be with Ryker?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. I couldn't say. He hasn't been honest with me and honesty is a big deal. You know that."

She nods her head. "Of course I do."

It's hard not blurting it out. But I don't. I wonder if she even knows that the birth certificate is missing. Or if she thinks it's still safely put wherever she placed it to begin with.

"Is there anything the person you love could do to make you not love them?"

She studies me for a long time. "There's always room for forgiveness."

"Always?"

She nods. "Of course."

"Have you or dad ever done something that warranted forgiveness?"

Now I can see the crease in her forehead. She sighs. "When we first got together we both made some very silly mistakes."

I don't think an affair that leads to a baby with another woman is silly.

"We got over them. And we learned to move on and grow." She looks away. "Your father and I, we have had our obstacles but we always managed to understand and grow."

"You've never felt betrayed?" I can't believe this is all there is to my parents' relationship, considering the newest detail. "You never thought that you would be better off without him ever?"

"No. I've always been in love with your father. No matter what. And I love my family, each and every one of you no matter what."

I don't get it. And I'm afraid I'll never get it unless I say something to her. But I don't know what to say.

"Tell me about the day I was born." I can't believe I just said that. "Were you happy?"

"Extremely."