Fallen Angels || Destiel High School AU

Chapter 17 - i still hate you but...

Cas (POV)

I hadn't spoken to Dean since 3 weeks ago when I stormed out of Gabriel's and Balthazars room. I hadn't gone back to University either. I couldn't cope with facing all those people who tried tricking me into thinking that Danny was going out with Dean Winchester. I was a recluse. I hadn't come out of my room in three weeks except to pee and get food and maybe shower. I was currently sat on my bed watching The Notebook which I had recently refused to watch but now was so bored that I decided to put it on. I was blubbing my eyes out at the part where the old woman had completely forgotten that the man was her husband when I heard a knock at my door.

"What?" I shouted at the door not bothering to wipe the tears from my face or hide the sweet wrappers that were currently cluttered around my room.

"Urm Cas..." It was Dean, well only his head peaking through the door

"Ergh what do you want?" I ask grabbing another sweet, unwrapping it at stuffing it in my mouth turning my attention back to the TV. Gabriel would kill me if he found out that I knew where his secret stash was.

"Zee wants you. Apparently it's important." I groaned and rolled of my bed, turning the TV off as I went.

"What does she want now?" I muttered angrily to myself. I looked back at the door prepared to argue with Dean but he had already vanished. I sighed and plodded out my room and down the stairs to the living room. The whole family was in there including Paulie and his Irish son, Miles who had grown up with Zee.

"Is this an intervention or something because I don't have time for this." I groan and Zee looks at me angrily.

"This has nothing to do with you and your pathetic life Castiel." I look at her in shock and then down to my shoes in shame.

"Sorry." I mutter.

"Sit down, all of you." I sit down on the sofa next to Lucifer and we all look at her expectantly wondering what the he was going on. Zee stood up an cleared her throat slightly.

"I have something to tell you all..." She begins.

"We're moving?"

"No we can't be!"

"I have friends here!"

"Are we getting a dog?!"

"Aw that would be so cute!"

"Please let it be a dog!"

Everyone started talking at once and Zee looked around the room impatiently.

"SHUT IT! No we are not moving and no we are not getting a dog." A few cheers and moans of complaint went around the room and Zandriel pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm dying." I heard he mutter and looked at her in shock. The others went quiet.

"What did you just say?" Michael asked standing up slowly.

"I said I'm dying! Okay?" She snapped at him and everyone looked at her in horror.

"What do you mean you're dying?" I croaked out, my voice catching on the lump in my throat that was forming.

"It's a brain tumour due to the stress of running all these different businesses I assume." She sighed. "But that doesn't matter, what matters is how long I have."

"How long?"

"Not long."

"How. Long?" Balthazar said through gritted teeth.

"A month at tops." She said looking at him sadly. We all gasped. Anna broke down crying. Sam and Dean were holding their mouths like they were going to be sick. My whole world was crashing down on me and I had no way to stop it. My breathing grew rapid and I brought my knees up to my chest like the doctors told me too when I was younger to help my breathing. Tears were forming in my eyes and I couldn't see anything, it was all blurry.

"No no no no." I chanted over and over again but no one else in the room seemed to see or hear me. They we're all dealing with the news in different ways. Gabriel and Balthazar was clinging on to each other. Anna was hugging Michael tightly while Michael was still stood in the same position. The younger twins, Raphael and Uriel were sitting there quietly leaning on each other and looking up at their big sister and Lucifer was shouting at anything and everyone, anger bubbling up inside of him. Zee was just stood there watching the commotion going on, unable to move or do anything about it.

"Zee." I heard Paulies son say and she looked at him. "I'm so sorry." He hugged her tight but she still didn't move, to distraught to do anything. Finally she just upped and left out the room to leave us all to deal with it in our own way. Obviously not able to watching the distressing scene in front of her any longer.

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I had just come back from speaking with Zandriel, one by one we had all walked into her room to hug her an speak to her and one by one we all came out crying. I went back to my room and sat on the bed, tears pouring down my face.

"Cas." I didn't even hear the knock at the door and jumped at the sound of Dean called my name from the doorway. "I-I'm so sorry." He choked out and I nodded at him.

"About what?"

"Everything." I nod again and he comes over to sit by me. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again so we sat there in silence.

"Dean?" I said after a while and he turned to look at me.

"Yes Castiel?"

"I still hate you so much for what you did but, will you sleep in here tonight." I manage to choke out and he nods without saying a word. He wraps his arms around me, holding me in a tight and warm embrace and that's the point where I let it all go. I shout and scream and cry into his chest and he just sits there not letting go. Just rubbing my back and telling me everything will okay. But I knew differently, I knew everything wouldn't be ok. It would all change, I would have no older sister to argue with and joke with. I would have no mother, because that is what she was too me. She had brought me up and now she was leaving, leaving all of us to fend for ourselves. We were all old enough now, accept for Uriel and Rapheal who would be cared for by Michael along with Anna.

I was thinking way to much, I just needed to let go. How could I let go? What would help me let go? Then I remembered. Dean. I pulled away from him and looked at him through tears eyes. I started leaning in but he leaned away shaking his head.

"No Castiel. I'm not doing that." I remember starting to shout and scream at him and him just sitting there calmly and taking it. I remember throwing a DVD case at him and him just sitting there calmly and taking it. I remember trying to punch him but him grabbing my arms and pulling me into a hug. I remember falling to sleep in his arms and feeling him laying me down on the bed. I do not remember him climbing in with me and laying there watching me sleep, but I'm so glad he did.

A/N: angst! Ow ow ow. I'm just in one of those moods today! Why do I do it to myself?! Tell me why?!