Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Nine

I heard the music start and lights began to flash and just like that the show began, the room filled with energy and Billie bounced onto the stage. music was one thing that made her happy, she wore a giant smile that beamed. clothing wise she had this awesome oversized yellow jacket on with a white shirt and patching pants.

She'd been performing for over an hour at this point but it felt like 5 minutes, she suddenly turned very quite.

"Ok I've never done this before but I want to dedicate this song to someone in the audience, they know who they are. I love you." She said sneaking a glance at me trying to not make people suspicious.
I smiled as I felt my cheeks turn red, i wanted to scream with happiness, but instead i just smiled at her..

She began singing ocean eyes, she poured her heart into the song.

As the song came to an end she lent down at the edge of the stage and held her hand out over the barrier, I took hold and we just held hands as she sang

"I've never fallen from quite this high
Falling into your ocean eyes....

Those ocean eyes"

She quickly kissed my hand and then like that she ran off out back.

I'd never been to a concert but now I knew if this is what they are like I want to go to A LOT more.

After the show I went to go find her out back. As soon as our eyes connected she came running to Me and I found myself in my favourite spot, her arms.

"what did you think?" She said pulling away slightly so she could look me in the eyes and see my reaction.
I didn't reply I simply cupped her face with my hands and kissed her.

The kiss got passionate and she pinned me against the wall, one hand in my hair the other on my jeans..

"Not now you too." Someone said. She pulled away slightly her cheeks going red, I was glad for once I wasn't the one blushing. we got carried away and nearly forgot other people where around watching.
She buried her head in my shoulder as I held her and laughed. I looked over her shoulder to see fin standing there with a raised eyebrow.
"Sorry, my bad." I yelled as I laughed.

-
We headed to the hotel room after everyone had said how well billie had done.

Billie slammed the door and reconnected our lips without even saying a word, she wrapped her arms around me and walked to the bed and slammed me down on it.

I smiled up at her.
Her hand was on my leg and my hands were lost in her hair,

She gently squeezed my thigh and a gentle gasp escaped my lips causing her to squeeze harder. Her hand moved towards my jeans and she played with the band before undoing the button.

It was all going fine until she tried to remove them,

-

i walked into the house after a long day at school, i was tired and all i wanted was to go to bed. i should have known it wouldnt be that easy..

"hey sexy" a voice said. i turned around to see adam stood next to the kitchen table.

i walked over to me staring at my boobs. he placed his hand on my ass and slowly he unbuttoned my jeans as he licked his lips.

"you've gained a few pounds..." he said sounding disgusted. i glared at the floor, i wanted it to swallow me up but instead it would force me to stay for the torture

-

"STOP." I yelled.
Billie jumped off me like I was on fire, her face full of panic, confusion and hurt. I stood up and walked towards the door.
I couldn't breathe. i needed to get out now.

"Lily.. what's going on?! What did I do?! I'm sorry!" She begged. But I wasn't listening. The image playing in my head was the last time me and Adam had sex.

He told me how my body was too fat to enjoy, how I was useless and worthless. He beat the shit out of me for not pleasing him. He told me I had to lose weight or else nobody would love me they'd just use me.
"No... no. NO." I yelled desperately trying to get the image out of my head, i shook my head violently as if it may just pop the thought out.

"Lily, please.. I don't know what to do.." Billie said as her voice broke. She was crying.
I couldn't take it, I opened the door, slamming it behind me to prevent her following me and ran.

fat

useless

eat less

lay off the food

ugly

hips like that 

the words echoed in my mind whilst cutting deep into my heart

-

Billies POV

I didn't know what was going on lily had freaked out on me and I didn't know why. I didn't know what I did wrong.

She left and slammed the door. I quickly followed.
"Lily wait!" I yelled.
But she kept running.

I chased after her tears streaming down my face. I got to the end of the hall and realised she was gone and I didn't know where she went.

I turned back, I needed to go to my room and get my phone maybe if I called her she would answer and i could sort this mess out or maybe she had her location on snapchat. I needed to find her.

I was sobbing, I mean full on ugly crying sobbing.
"Billie?" I heard a voice say. I turned around to see fin walking towards me.

i ran towards him as i wiped the tears from my face using the back of my hand but they where quickly replaced by fresh ones

"What's going on?" He said sounding worried. He wrapped me in a hug stroking my hair.
"She's gone I fucked up and she's gone fin" I sobbed
"Ok ok... calm down...everything is fixable.. tell me what happened?" He said, I could hear the concern in his voice shining threw.
"we were kissing and things got a bit heated and then she just panicked and left.. i dont know what i did wrong.."
he pulled away slightly to look me in the eyes.
"Billie, don't panic. ok? we will find her. she was probably nervous and didn't want to let you down, we will fix this. it's fine"

but i didn't believe him, i felt like my world had just exploded, the light was gone.