Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Fifty-Three

Safe to say I wasn't taking the news too well. Me and my aunt never got along she wanted me to be like Rosie who was effortlessly perfect and the truth was I never would be, she just couldn't handle that. In 5 days my fairytale would come to an end and I'd be back in the torture I was once so familia with.

I sat on the bed with billie, crying my eyes out as always.

"I don't want to go." I cried

"We will figure something out it's ok Babygirl." She said as she buried her head into my hair.

-

The days went fast despite my best efforts to slow them down, I'd hardly slept or eaten, I hadn't left billies side. It was now the day before my aunt came to pick me up. I was scared. I didn't want to go back to hell I wanted to stay in my little piece of heaven.

I was laying back in our room with billie she was on break from tour for a week before she started again, I was clinging to her for my life, even though I knew there was little she could do to save me.

As the thoughts swirled my head I glanced over at billie who was peacefully asleep next to me, I took a deep shaky breath in as the thoughts took over and the tears began to fall.

"Morning." Billie stirred I tried desperately to get my shit together before she noticed but it was no use.

"Baby are you crying?? Why didn't you wake me?!" Billie spoke with concern as she sat up to face me before pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry." I cried. I didn't even know what I was sorry for I just felt guilty

"No stop that, you don't need to be sorry for anything.. what's wrong?" She asked as she stroked my hair.

"I'm scared. I don't want to go."

"Hey you listen to me, if you need anything I will be there straight away just call me, I will visit you as often as I can, probably so often you get sick of me!"

"That would never happen." I smiled slightly at the thought of billie being around all the time as she kissed my head.

-

My heart nearly froze the next morning when the doorbell rang, I stood with my small suitcase in a pair of jeans and a hoodie of billies.

"I love you, so much." Billie reminded me as she kissed me.

At that moment the door open and I watched as my stick thin plastic aunt stepped into the room.

"Lily! How... um.. hmm.. well get in the car then!" She smiled as if she was trying to be nice, it wasn't working. My aunt and I never got along she was the one who introduced me to Adam, said he'd be good for me, teach me what I needed to learn.. we never got on after that... I mean how could we?

I tried not to Focus on billie as I walked out the door to the car, I was afraid if I did I would break down. I simply shut myself down to feel nothing and robotically left the house and climbed into the car. Keeping my head down as the car began to drive.

I plugged in the music and focused on the song not my thoughts.

I'm going away for a while But I'll be back, don't try and follow me Cause I'll return as soon as possible See I'm trying to find my place But it might not be here where I feel safe

I can feel the anxiety swirling in my stomach and my head and I try my best to ignore it but it's no use, eventually I'm drowning in it. Being pulled under the water till I can no longer breathe.

We must have been driving for about two hours when my aunts voice startled me awake, I didn't mean to fall asleep it just happened.

"We're nearly there!" She cheered.

I looked down at my phone to see a text from billie sent 34 minutes ago,

BILLIE
How you holding up? Everything ok?

I didn't want to answer her questions honestly because I didn't want to make her panic so I just replied with 'I love you 💜' and left it at that, I knew when we faced time later tonight I would have to be honest with her but for now I could avoid it and cause her less panic.

My eyes drifted upwards away from my phone to be met with big black wooden gates. I watched as they opened and we pulled into the giant 10 car driveway. Sat on the driveway was several expensive cars, 6 to be exact. Including the car we where in they could have a different car every day of the week...

The house was big but old, it was white textured on the outside with wooden beams painted grey.

I climbed out the car, jumping from the seat to the floor. Being a small girl I don't tend to function well with range-rovers as there so high up.

The door was unlocked and I walked inside, noting the wooden floor and modern inside decoration. i headed straight up the stairs past the 2 living rooms, kitchen, bathroom, 2 dining rooms, and 2 offices. Upstairs was 5 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

I turned left At the top of the stairs and headed to the end of the corridor. to the room I had stayed in a few times when staying round. The room had blue flower printed wall paper on the wall by the bed and the rest of the walls where grey. The bed was a small double and was white, two small white bedside tables with draws and small silver and white lamp shades sat next to the bed.

Opposite the door was a mirror bigger then me. To the left of the door was a huge wardrobe that took up most of that side of the wall. In the corner sat a small tv.

I took a seat on the bed. Being careful not to ruin the expensive grey throw. My tears finally began to fall.