Jesy: What are your goals for this year?
Perrie: Pet all the dogs in the world.
Jesy: No, I meant your fitness goals.
Perrie: Be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs in the world.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: Do you have any enemies?
Jesy: Enemies? What century do you think we're in? Of course I don't have any.
Perrie: It's because they're all dead...Isn't it?
Jesy: *Sighs* yes.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: What are you two arguing about this time?
Jade: She's using common phrases incorrectly!
Perrie: Oh, cry me a shoe.
~~~
Perrie: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Leigh-Anne: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Jade: I joined you in the dumb stuff.
Jesy: And I tried to stop you from doing the dumb stuff.
~~~
Jesy: What if I implement a no-pets-policy in the house?
Jade: Well, hell, man, you can't just throw Perrie out like that.
~~~
Perrie: I'm gonna make you sorry you ever met me!
Leigh-Anne: Too late.
~~~
*Pesy VS Leighade*
Perrie: *Yawns* I'm so tired.
Jesy: You know where our bedroom is.
-
Leigh-Anne: I'm tired.
Jade: Oh, my precious baby, you need to sleep. Come here, I'll take you to bed. Get some rest, please. Tomorrow we'll stay in bed, eat junk food and watch movies all day. You deserve a break. I love you so much.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: So, let's talk about the emotions you're feeling right now.
Jesy: Stabbing.
Leigh-Anne: Stabbing isn't really an emotion, it's more of an...activity, which I hope you don't engage in. You see, an emotion is more of a feeling.
Jesy: Well, I feel stabby.
Leigh-Anne: God, please, help me.
~~~
Jade: Don't worry, Leigh will come up with a plan.
Perrie: That's a good thing, right?
Jade: It's possible you're not recalling her previous plans.
~~~
*In the group chat*
Jade: Why do they eat snails in France?
Leigh-Anne: Because it's a French delicacy?
Jade: No, because they can't afford fast food.
Jesy removed Jade from the group chat
~~~
Perrie: Excuse me, Jade, but who made you the boss of the group?
Leigh-Anne: You did.
Jesy: Yeah, you said "Jade should be the boss".
Leigh-Anne: And then you said "let's vote" and it was unanimous.
Jesy: You made her that plaque that said "BOSS OF US" and you put on sparkles.
~~~
Perrie: *Sighs* things just went from worse to worser.
Jade: That's not a word, but continue.
~~~
Jade: Okay, Jesy, you have five seconds to name five famous disasters. Go!
Jesy: Titanic, the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, Mount Vesuvius, and...uhm...Perrie's math skills!
Perrie: You forgot to mention one huge disaster, though.
Jesy: I did? Share with the group.
Perrie: Your grammar.
~~~
Perrie: If we ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Lizard and then she'll get the nickname "Liz" and everyone will be like "oh, is it short for Elizabeth?" and she will have to say "no, my name is Lizard".
Jade: I want you dead.
~~~
Jesy: Why are you mad at Jade?
Leigh-Anne: Because she replaces words with animal names to annoy me.
Jade: Sorry, I don't do it on...porpoise.
Jesy: Get the fuck out.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: That man shot at us!
Perrie: *Pulls out knife* good thing I have this!
Leigh-Anne: How is your knife going to help us?
Perrie: Well, you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Leigh-Anne: Perrie, that's bad! It's so bad!
Perrie: Oh no, is that what it means?
~~~
Leigh-Anne: Last night, I found out that Jade talks in her sleep.
Jesy: Aww, that's so adorable. What did she say?
Leigh-Anne: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At. 4 AM.
~~~
Leigh-Anne: Good morning, sunshine, it's time to wake up.
Perrie: I'm not sleeping, I'm dead. Leave flowers and get out.
~~~
Jesy to Jade: You can use Perrie's exercise bike. It's upstairs, gathering dust like the rest of her potential.
~~~
Jesy: Why do people think that I'm incapable of being nice?
Perrie: Experience.
~~~
*At the grocery store*
Leigh-Anne: *Raises her voice slightly so she can speak to Jade down at the other side of the aisle* honey, do you want biscuits?
Jade: *At full volume* I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR OREOS!
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Texts & Scenarios || Little Mix
FanfictionPerrie: What happens after we die? Jade, Jesy, Leigh-Anne: GO TO SLEEP!!!
