The Freak With The Pink Hair

I Still Can't

Seth smiled to himself as he watched Addison walk around the classroom picking up their tests, god if she was't the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen

She quickly gave them to the teacher and came to sit right back down by Seth again who smiled at her

"You wanna hang out later?" She asked him, looking into his eyes making his heart rate speed up

"Of course, where?" He asked and she smiled

"My place?" She asked and he nodded

Today was the day, Seth could feel it. Today, he'd finally get everything he ever wanted, in the form of Addison Foster

They were at Addison's house later on,  Seth was sitting on the bar stool and watching Addison move around, getting ingredients for cinnamon buns and he knew why, in two days, she had to do her performance, well actually, THEY had to do their performance since he was doing it with her

"So I was wondering, I mean I know it wasn't an ideal thing and I know it's not an ideal way to do it, but I really like you and I would love for this to be something more," he said and Addison's smile dropped as his speech continued

"Seth-" she began and now, Seth's smile dropped

"I like you to, really I do, but I'm still not over Dean," she admitted sadly and it wasn't an excuse, she really wasn't over him

"And I don't want to jump into this and it'll hurt you, in the end, I don't want that," she said and Seth clenched his jaw and looked at the tabletop

"That's what you've been doing all along," he commented and she let go a sad sigh

"That's not fair," she replied and he looked at her, with sadness and hurt in his eyes

"No, you know what's not fair?" He asked and she braced herself

"I've been there for you since Dean realized you weren't worth anything, and maybe he did the right thing, you really are fucking oblivious, why did I have to fall for you?" He asked, self loathing happening right in front her eyes

"Seth you don't mean that," she replied and be scoffed

"Of course I don't fucking mean it." He said and then loosed his hair to run his fingers through it

"I wish I did," he said and she frowned

"Dean isn't good for you, and you know it, I don't know why you're wasting your time with him, and probably I'll never get it but all I know is I can't change your mind, no matter how much I'd like to," he told her and she looked at him

"I need to go, really, if I stay here, I'm gonna fucking explode, and I don't wanna say anything I'm gonna regret so it's better if I leave," he told her and walked away

He thought the worst part was that she didn't reciprocate his feelings, but the actual worse part was that when he left, she didn't come after him. It made him feel like his presence just wasn't important.

Addison stared after him sadly, how could she go after him? It wouldn't change anything. She would still be madly in love with Dean, it wasn't like she could just switch off her feelings for Dean and switch them to Seth, if she could, she would in a heartbeat. She couldn't though, so it was better for both of them in the long run if Seth found someone who could give him what Addison couldn't

She sighed as the door slammed behind him and she sat down at the bar top and let her head fall in her hands, if Seth was happier this way, then she could accept it.

Then something dawned on her, and tears started dripping down her cheeks, the performance. She sighed and called Miss Garcia to tell her that her performance was now a solo and at the sad tone of her voice, her teacher thankfully didn't push it

After she got done on the phone with her teacher, she just went and laid down on her bed and just stared at the ceiling for a few minutes

Dean groaned as his breathing shallowed, his pupils dilating and he threw his head back against the dry wall behind him and took a few breaths, when it didn't work, he thought about how if he and Addison were on good terms, he'd be able to call her over to help him

He thought about Addison desperately and he thought about how she was so carefree and swet and then he thought about her smile and he felt his heart rate become normal again

He squeezed his eyes shut and took some breaths, Addison calmed him down, even the thought of Addison alone made him calm, made him feel like he was floating. She was his drug and he'd proudly say he was a addicted